6

Marriage is great, but can I go home now?

So, ya, I know this is probably not the article you were expecting when I said I was going to be talking about marriage, but this is the one I’m going to write because well, I’m real like that. You’re welcome.

When I was single, I was talking to one of my friends who had recently gotten married and she told me that sometimes she just wanted to go home. Well, I laughed a little at the time, but I obviously thought she was crazy, or maybe she had problems with her husband or something. I just thought it was so sad that she had what so many other girls were looking and longing for, and she wasn’t as happy as she had ever been in her entire life.

……and then I got married.

Don’t get me wrong. There has not been one day or night that I have regretted marrying my husband. He is THE BEST guy I have ever met, and treats me so much better than most of the time I deserve. I love him with all my heart, and wouldn’t trade our life for the world, but if I’m honest, there have been times when I have woken up, or gone to bed, and thought to myself, “this marriage thing is really great and all, but can I go home now?”

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See, being married means you’re like basically an adult. You have to pay all your bills, and clean your house, and cook dinner, and go to work, and your husband has to do the same. It’s building a home and a life and that life is big and comes with many responsibilities; and being that I was a newlywed, it was all very new for me.

Home was established. Home was comforting. Home I was taken care of. Home I didn’t have to pay the electric bill or go grocery shopping. Our life together was just getting started, I was learning and my new husband was learning how to take care of our responsibilities and how to take care of each other. We were excited to do it! But our life and our home was not firmly rooted yet as the homes we came from. Our home together was just a baby seedling needing lots of time and care and attention- all of which we were only just learning how to give.

I have learned a lot in my first year and a half of marriage, if only just that I still have a lot to learn, and that God gives us the grace we need to learn and grow in every new chapter of life. This season has required me to be a stronger, more dependent, more independent, more understanding, more forgiving, more apologetic, more open and honest, more of me than I have ever been, but I am learning. We both are, and as we learn and as we grow, we get better at being home for one another, and this life is getting more wonderful every day.

Soon, my hallways will be filled with the sounds of our little girl, and I will have to grow again and learn again, and I can’t wait. I can’t wait for us to be a family, and for us to have put a whole new level of joy on the home we are building together, and for this house and this man and my family to feel that much more like home- my home, our home, the home we have made together with our love, sweat, and tears.

If you are getting married soon, or have been married recently, take encouragement from this post that maybe you aren’t alone in feeling a tad overwhelmed, maybe a little homesick at times, and vastly unprepared for what is unfolding before you. God will grow you into the person you need to be, God will grow your husband into the person he needs to be, and you will find your home to be as wonderful as the two of you make it together.

If you’re still single, and marriage is not in the immediate plan, tuck this one away in your heart for future reference, and expect marriage to be not only wonderful, but also a little difficult at first, as I imagine it is for everyone.

And if you have been married for a while, maybe look back and laugh, and thank God for how far you have come, and, while you’re talking to Him, say a prayer that in all of our homes, new and old, we will live in ways that bring glory to our God.

:)

29

Dear Single Girl,

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Many of you have only just started following me in the recent weeks, or months or even in the past year, so you know that I am happily married. Yes, I have probably turned into that girl who posts too many pictures of her and her husband. You know the ones that make you roll your eyes, but also wish for the same for yourself? I know…. because I have been there. Looking at other relationships, and feeling lonely or sad or even just plain sorry for myself. Maybe you have no idea the archives on this very blog are filled with posts of a single girl patiently (and not-so-patiently) waiting on her forever love.

See, I didn’t get married young, although I always thought I would. I thought I would go to college, and find a guy, and get married right away… that was my plan. However, it was not my God’s plan. God’s plan was for me to wait, and wait a lot longer than I ever thought or wanted, and I started this blog in that season of waiting.

Today, I want to go back there with you to just encourage your heart, because it is so easy for me to remember how it felt to be in your shoes, and how just a few words of encouragement, that maybe you didn’t even want to admit that you needed, made all the difference some days.

First of all, while the world is bombarding you with mixed messages, you have to stay grounded in the truth. From “You’re nothing without a man” and “#relationshipgoals” to “You are a fierce single lady and the world is your playground so kick every man to the curb and stay focused on YOU, darling,” it is hard to know where you fit in. Even if you did know where you fit, what are you supposed to do about it? How are you supposed to feel when everyone around you is in a relationship, getting married, or having kids?

Well, the truth is everyone’s story is different.

Every single one of your friends might get married and have 3 or 4 kids (like most of mine did) before you even start a meaningful relationship. And guess what? That’s okay. I know you’re thinking, No it isn’t. YES it is! It is okay because your story, God’s plan for your life, is different from theirs. Don’t waste time rebelling against what God has in store for your life. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will become grateful for every day that you are living out His plan, even if it doesn’t include a man.

You’re thinking, so you’re saying to “enjoy my single years” listening to Adele and eating ice cream all by myself. Well, yes. How? You have to have an unwavering seed of faith even on the hard days when you’re lonely and you cry to Adele in your car, that God loves you, and He has a plan that you just don’t understand yet. Yes, it is possible to wish and hope and pray for your future husband without letting it affect your overall lifestyle. I prayed and struggled, you can read it all here on my blog, but I didn’t walk around in a puddle of sadness all the time. I went out and did things and had fun and I did enjoy my single years, and looking back I know it was God’s plan for me and I’m so thankful that everything happened the way it did, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was hard. I won’t pretend that it was.

I use this weird analogy all the time.

Being single is like having a baby. {Ok I know it sounds weird but hear me out.} Have you ever heard a mother talk about her labor and delivery? Yes it was awful. Yes it was terrifying, and gruesome, and more painful than the human mind can comprehend {that may just be my interpretation} but would they do it again? Yes. No question. And many of them do! Thank The Lord or most of us wouldn’t be here today. Well, being single isn’t all that bad lol but sometimes it’s lonely, and hard, and discouraging and disappointing……. But then you meet them. You fall in love, and you kinda forget how awful it was to be single. Why? Because all of it was just….. Worth it. All the waiting and lonely nights and teary hopeful prayers all seem to fade away because God has made everything perfect in His time.

Because one day, Michael walked into my life, and it has never been the same. And I know that the same will happen to you, and you’ll get married and face new and exciting challenges together. I can tell you it’s going to be okay, and remind you every day of the plan of God for your life, or you can let your faith in God’s timing and His goodness and His faithfulness and His love be your wings for this season. You can bury in your heart the promise that if you surrender your heart to His plan, the desires that He has placed in your heart will come to pass. You can believe for yourself that even on the not so easy days, (when you aren’t feeling like a fierce single woman who doesn’t need no man) that your prince will come, and you will get your happily ever after.

And, for those days too, you have a friend here who knows what’s up…. take a look around here, and read some more posts about my thoughts and feelings as a single girl just like you.

Til next time, chin up, beautiful. xo

7

So you think you’re ready for a long distance relationship?

So you think you're ready for a long distance relationship? thefulltimegirl.com

I have gotten several emails from girls asking about long distance relationships so I wanted to take some time to talk about them here. As most of you know, I have been in a long distance relationship with my soon to be husband for the past year and a half, but what you don’t know…
Continue reading »

17

Little girl, you don’t have to take your clothes off

little girl

Dear little girl, I know what this world tells you is fulfilling. Being sexy and shocking and scandalous. It gets everyone’s attention. It turns heads. It drops jaws. Everywhere you look, the world is pulling you to drop your guard, to lower your standards, to give up yourself. Dresses are getting shorter, tops are getting…
Continue reading »

26

Dear future husband, I hope you know…

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Dear future husband,   I hope you know I’m waiting for you. I hope you know that I’m doing my best to make you proud. I’m not wasting my heart anymore on guys who don’t look anything like you. I’m not entertaining anyone who doesn’t have a heart like yours. I’ve dried my tears from…
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6

His unspeakable gift

Anyone can make a list of all the things that they are thankful for. We have been doing it every November ever since we could trace our little hands and draw a turkey with it. Thanksgiving is a great day to set aside some time to list all of the things we are thankful for. However, the command of God is….

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

So many people focus on all the things God has given us. Most people want all the gifts and blessings and things that God offers. That is why the modern day watered down gospel can bring in thousands of people by offering heaven, forgiveness, life better than you ever imagined. They offer God’s gifts and His blessings… but that is blasphemy. If people want gifts instead of God, they won’t go to heaven. They will spend eternity separated from God forever.

We come to God NOT for His gifts. We come to God because when we come to God, we get God.

O Soul, if you will have Christ as a Gift, you may have Him tonight! You need not go home, first. You need not wait a moment. But if you will not have Him as a Gift, you will never have Him, for in no other way can Christ ever belong to you and me, except as God’s Gift which we, by His Grace, are led freely to accept! And notice, next, that we ought to express that thankfulness. Our expression of thankfulness for God’s unspeakable Gift would make ourselves all the surer that Christ is ours. – C. H. Spurgeon

Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift. 2 Corinthians 9:15

How thankful are we on a daily basis for God?

We thank God for his blessings. We thank him for his gifts. But what if we had none of these things? What if we lived in a third world country instead of America? What if we had nothing but the clothes on our backs, just enough food to eat, and a tin shack roof over our heads? Could we still be thankful?

If we took our lives and stripped them down to the basics, and sat in a room with a table and chair and a Bible, would we be able to say, “Thank you, God, for the gift of Yourself”?

See, when we remember who we truly are in front of a holy God– vile, wretched, selfish sinners– we would really be more thankful that a holy, righteous, good God even would think twice about us. And yet, he came to earth, lived 33 years, died a horrible death crushed under the weight of God’s wrath upon the sin of the world, loves us more than we could possibly imagine, and longs to have a personal relationship with us. He has given us an unspeakable gift that would do us good to be thankful for.

God does not need us to be thankful. God gets nothing from our gratitude, but we do.

First of all, we get peace and contentment. Gratitude puts everything in proper perspective. My dad loves to say, “expect nothing, be grateful for everything.” If more people live by that rule, our world would be a whole lot nicer place to live, quite simply.

Secondly, not only do we get peace and contentment, but gratitude cultivates faith. See, life is not always easy, and if we are thankful to God only for His stuff, we will not be thankful “in everything”. The Bible says to be thankful even for the trials God places in our lives because these trials draw us closer to God and make us stronger in our faith. [James 1] God is not interested in your happiness or in you living your best life now. He is interested in you getting closer to Himself every day. He is interested in making you holy like Jesus Christ. Righteousness, faith, love, joy, and peace– these things are found at the foot of the cross, not health, wealth, and prosperity.

In 1 Samuel 17, David was about to fight Goliath…..

And Saul said to David, Thou art not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him: for thou art but a youth, and he a man of war from his youth. And David said unto Saul, Thy servant kept his father’s sheep, and there came a lion, and a bear, and took a lamb out of the flock: And I went out after him, and smote him, and delivered it out of his mouth: and when he arose against me, I caught him by his beard, and smote him, and slew him. Thy servant slew both the lion and the bear: and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be as one of them, seeing he hath defied the armies of the living God. David said moreover, The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. 1 Samuel 17:33-37

David was faithful in remembering the trials that God had brought him through, and he was able to face Goliath with faith and without fear. God had not kept David from hardship, but He sure had been there every step of the way, and because David was thankful, he remembered the strength and deliverance of the Lord.

We are so blessed. We are far more blessed than we deserve. Just take a look at your life. Think of where you would be were it not for God. Be thankful for all the wonderful things He has given to you that you do not deserve; and not only for the things Has given you, not only for the gifts, but for Himself. It is not what is in our pockets that makes us thankful, but what is in our hearts. Really, if He gave us nothing but Himself, that would be more than enough to be thankful for for eternity.

We as Christians must remember the gift of God: the gift of Himself. Without Him, we could do nothing. With Him, all things are possible. Take some time this week and every week to be overcome with thankfulness for God’s unspeakable gift.

Have a happy and thankful Thanksgiving!

13

Let’s Talk About Sex

This is an excellent guest post by my brother, Richard DeMoss, from his blog Bold and Unashamed. Go Check it out! Side note: I took the liberty of adding my own thoughts {since I am his sister I am allowed} to make it a collaboration type piece. My words are in PINK.

A phrase you will never hear in most church services across the world. “Let’s talk about sex.” Most young people today who come to the church with questions about sex or struggling with this issue are met with silence. Even the word sex has become a dirty word, meant for late-night talk shows and ABC family. A discussion about sex has no place in the church, no place in the youth group. Don’t talk about it, don’t think about it, and maybe it will go away.

The problem is, the discussion does go away. It goes right where parents and churches can’t help. The world. Everything that a young person wants to know, and more. A discussion about sex is easy to find; anywhere but the church.

In this generation, more than ever, we are inundated with the idea and images of sex everywhere we look. School systems are forcing sex education on children as young as 5. If we don’t start getting loud about purity, then we will LOSE the battle in our generation and the generations to come.

A couple weeks ago I posed a question on Twitter: Why is it important to you to stay pure? The response I got was overwhelming. So many young people wanting to stay pure. I was so encouraged. But for every person who has decided to stay pure, there are thousands who don’t really understand “what the big deal is”. Why is it so important to stay pure? It’s not hurting anyone right?

So here we are. I want to take some time and talk about the taboo that is sex. I want to show you, from God’s perspective, why it is so important to stay pure. My hope is that in the midst of your search for answers, you will see this, and join the team of young people deciding to stay pure in this sin-sick world.

Let’s talk about sex.

1. Sex is not a dirty word.

Too many times in a young Christian’s life, they are met with silence when they have questions about sex. Or are too afraid to ask at all for fear of sounding evil or perverted. Churches don’t talk about it. Parents choke up and avoid the conversation. “Don’t have sex; or you’ll get pregnant and die.” When we don’t get answers from our parents, we turn to our friends, which is rarely a good idea.  A bunch of pre-teens, who cant stop laughing at the word poop, talking about sex. When that doesn’t satisfy, we turn to the internet. Now that’s a great idea. They can’t put anything on the internet that isn’t true, right?

So instead of getting our information from solid, biblical sources, we get it from the dung-heap that is the internet.  We make sex a dirty thing, something we search for in the dark when we’re alone.

Warning: Sex on the internet is not real sex. Pornography, a topic the church is as silent on if not more, is not what God created sex to be, and it is not harmless. Please get that the damage that is done by pornography is far more than the average person realizes. The fact is the more time you spend in this fantasy world, the more difficult it becomes to make the transition to reality. Just like drugs, pornography provides a quick fix, a universe people can get stuck in. This can result in their not being able to involve anyone else.” Meaning men addicted to pornography eventually can not have normal relations with real women.

It also skews men’s perspective when it comes to women. Unlike real life, the pornographic world is a place in which men find their authority unchallenged and in which women are their willing, even grateful servants. It’s sick. Satan has successfully twisted what God has created to be beautiful and saved for marriage and destroyed it with one fatal swipe. Pornography is a lie. It promotes lies about men, women, and human relationships. Even when in a loving relationship, men who have used porn say that, all too often, they see their partner through a kind of “pornographic filter”. Do the research yourself! Even secular studies and psychologists say this. Porn is like alcoholism: it clings to you like a leech….. and it only gets darker and more disgusting. In its severest form, it can even lead to sexual crime. That is disgusting. That is dirty.

But sex isn’t dirty. In fact, its quite the opposite.

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” –Hebrews 13:4

“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply…”-Genesis 1:28

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”-Genesis 2:24

Sex isn’t the dirty act that it has transformed into. Sex was created by God. Get this: God is the author of sex! He has created sex as the union of a man and woman, an act both intimate and beautiful. Sex was created for us.

2. Sex was created for marriage.

Notice the verses above. In all these verses God is speaking specifically about a marriage relationship. Sex is a gift, when it is inside the confines of marriage.

When you take sex outside of the sanctity of marriage is when sex becomes sin. Inside the marriage relationship, sex is an expression of love, of commitment. Outside of marriage, sex becomes cheap.  Sex becomes like any other hobby. When sex is viewed as an extracurricular activity, it loses all the beauty that God had originally given it. Love becomes lust. Commitment becomes self-satisfaction.

There’s no getting around it. Sex outside of marriage is sin.

“Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.” –1 Corinthians 6:13b

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18

“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

God is 100 percent against pre-marital sex. Period.

“And the flesh is that reprehensible preference for self that lurks within every one of our hearts. It is that base and selfish instinct to preserve our own interests at the expense of God’s interests. It’s devious, it’s deceitful, it’s self-indulgent. It’s interested only in selfish comfort and will happily crucify Christ afresh to secure it. God also has another name for it- sin.” -Eric Ludy.

3. Sex outside of marriage is dangerous.

Not only is it following God’s plan to stay pure until marriage, it’s smart! You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that abstinence is the healthiest way to live. Sixty-five million people are living with STDs in the United States alone, with 15 million people contracting new infections every year.

No type of birth control protects against sexually transmitted diseases like Chlamydia, HPV, or herpes; and are no guarantee against AIDS. Hundreds of thousands of women are discovering that they cannot have children due to pelvic inflammatory disease caused by chlamydia. Pelvic inflammatory disease is, in fact, one of the causes of the declining birth rate. Again, 90% of those with Chlamydia have no symptoms.

HPV (human papilloma virus) leads to warts on one’s genitals that need to be burned off. Sometimes these warts can spread to one’s hands, and then it can be passed to any babies that one is caring for. However, the greatest risk is to women caused by HPV is cervical cancer.

Herpes also leads to embarrassing and painful sores. If a baby is delivered naturally during the mother’s first bout of herpes, the baby will be infected leading in many cases to either the babies death or brain damage.

Girls, of the 30 sexually transmitted diseases, 26 damage women, the other 4 damage both. Guys aren’t off the hook though. When it comes to marrying, what are they bringing their wife? Her risk of infection has nothing to do with whether he used a condom or got tested. Her risk of infection has everything to do with him having BEEN sexually active.

Think young people are immune? Think again. 50% of sexually active young people will contract an STD by 25. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like those odds.

It gets worse. It’s estimated that around 1 in 5 people over the age of 12 has genital herpes. Of those infected, only 10-25 percent know they are infected. WOW. If you fool around, the House will win, every time. Having sex outside of marriage is like playing Russian roullette, with more than one bullet in the gun. Staying pure is a great way to reduce your rick of sexually transmitted infections. (You don’t say!)

Not only is sex outside of marriage dangerous physically, it’s dangerous emotionally. Sex is an intimate act created for husband and wife. When we forsake God’s plan for our plan, we destroy a part of us we can’t get back.

The act of sex creates a bond between two souls. One that is not supposed to be broken or taken lightly. God literally created sex to bind a man to his wife and a wife to her husband. When we choose the world’s way of engaging in all the sexual activity we want with whomever we want, the bond created by sex gets lesser and lesser with each partner. What we have left for marriage is a used up body and a disillusioned soul. No wonder there is so much infidelity in the world. Sex- the beautiful God-given covenant between and man and his wife- has been used up and destroyed. Sex is no longer sacred to this world, but for those who choose purity, sex is still beautiful.

“From 17 to 18, I was very promiscuous. That sick, used feeling of having given  a precious part of myself – my soul – to so many and for nothing, still aches. I never imagined I’d pay so dearly and for so long.” -Young woman in her 30′s

“I would do anything, ANYTHING, to forget the sexual experiences I had before I met my wife. . . the pictures of the past and the other women go through my head, and it’s killing any intimacy. The truth is, I’ve been married to this wonderful woman for eight years and I have never been ‘alone’ in the bedroom with her.” – A young husband.

“It’s not  something you want on your conscience, that you’ve caused a girl to have deep emotional problems. The thing I regret most of all about high school is the time I single-handedly destroyed a girl.” -A young man.

Guys, your future wife deserves more than an empty shell of what used to be. Ladies, your husband deserves to have your whole heart, not the broken pieces of your shattered purity. Purity is not only right, it’s smart.

There are not only physical consequences, but psychological and physiological.

Men “imprint” on their first sexual experience. Author, marriage counselor, and Pastor Mark Gungor puts it like this, “Some years ago, while doing some video taping of cranes in the wild from a helicopter, I learned of how these birds “imprint” when they are first born. In other words, whatever creature they first interact with after birth, they assume it is their mother, even if it is a human. I immediately thought of what first-time sex does to a man. This overwhelming new experience IMPRINTS on him and he connects the context with the experience. Those who have their first sexual experience outside of marriage imprint on the lust of illicit sex – those who have their first sexual experience in the context of marriage imprint on the girl. NOTHING impacts a man like his first sexual experience.”

What about women? Mark goes on to say, “When a woman experiences sex without commitment, she soon learns (falsely) that sex means little to nothing. Why? Because nothing happens as a result: no meaningful relationship ensues – he may never even call her or talk to her again. She has inaccurately learned that sex and commitment are two completely separate issues, which they are not. As for the physiological damage, science shows us that when a woman has sex with a man, a chemical called oxytocin is released into her system. Oxytocin is a neuro-peptide most commonly associated with pregnancy and breast-feeding. It seems to act as a human superglue and helps a woman bond with her infant. This chemical also helps a woman bond with her lover during sex. New scientific studies, however, suggest that if a woman has multiple sexual partners, this will lower her levels of oxytocin which in turn can inhibit her ability to bond to her husband. According to an article by Drs. John Diggs and Eric Keroack, “People who have misused their sexual faculty and become bonded to multiple persons will diminish the power of oxytocin to maintain a permanent bond with an individual.”

4. God forgives.

You’ve made mistakes. You’ve compromised your purity. Now you feel like there’s nothing you can do to get it back. I’m about to tell you the best news, for all of us. God forgives.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. –1 John 1:9

I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. –Isaiah 43:25

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. –Psalm 103:12

God will forgive you of your past impurity if you will ask him. God is faithful. God is merciful. You can start being pure today. Don’t ever think it’s too late to start over.

It is also a comfort to those who have already made mistakes in this area. Having made mistakes in this area does NOT make you un-marriable. There is more than enough mercy and grace in Jesus Christ to cover any and all sin if we repent and ask forgiveness. Praise God that He is so good not to hold any of our sin against us, and our souls have been redeemed by the blood. Minds can be renewed, and godly marriages can be built.

__________________________

If you have stayed pure up to this point, wow. I am so proud of you. God is so proud of you. You have come so far. You are some of the strongest people in the world. God will bless you if you stay pure. Your wedding night will be the best night of your life, because you will have no regrets.

If you are just deciding to stay pure, I am so proud of YOU. Starting today, forge a path of purity in your life. Make the changes you need to. God has forgiven you and will bless you.

Above all, refuse to be silent when it comes to sex. Show the world that you have decided to be pure. There are young adults all over the world looking for answers. You can be the one to show them the truth. You never know who you will influence, what young person’s life you will change by your testimony. Go show the world that we are not going to compromise our purity for temporary pleasure. We are staying pure, and we are bold and unashamed of it.

Let us be men and women who take a stand for purity– not just in not having sex, but in correcting the lies of the world when it comes to it. Let’s really protect the sanctity of biblical marriage. Let’s encourage others to protect their purity. Let’s boldly speak out and be proud to be men and women who will do it God’s way and wait for marriage.

I am convinced that the human heart hungers for constancy. In forfeiting the sanctity of sex by casual, nondiscriminatory “making out” and “sleeping around,” we forfeit something we cannot well do without. There is dullness, monotony, sheer boredom in all of life when virginity and purity are no longer protected and prized.”  -Elisabeth Elliot

About the Author

Richard DeMoss is the founder at Bold and Unashamed. He is also a high-school teacher with a burden for young Christians. While traveling around the country visiting churches, he saw first-hand many problems that Christians face today, which prompted Richard to start Bold and Unashamed. Since then, it has become a movement to inspire a new generation to be unapologetic in their faith. In addition to blogging, he enjoys bacon, Jeopardy, bacon, colorful socks, and bacon.
Follow him on twitter HERE
Like the Bold and Unashamed facebook page HERE
And go like thefulltimegirl facebook page, too! HERE please and thank you :]
14

Ladies, you want a big, strong, great man?

I know I talk about modesty a lot. I do that because I want girls to see their worth is in their hearts instead of in their bodies. They don’t have to catch a man showing off parts of their bodies that are for their husbands eyes only. This is not because your body is bad or those parts of your body are bad. They aren’t at all. They are beautiful and sacred and special and when they are covered, it keeps them that way. The most precious of jewels aren’t for everyday wear. They aren’t even for everyone. Only the one who pays the highest price gets to own them, and even then, they are taken care of and prized and set apart. This is what your body is. It is only meant for your husband to see and treasure….

However, I never want my message to be confused with saying that we need to keep our bodies covered because men can not control themselves. They most certainly can. In this crazy sex-obsessed world, there are actually men who keep their minds clean and pure. [everyone put on your shocked faces] In all reality, God says it can be done, and it can.

To say or think or promote the idea that men can not control themselves is insulting and demeaning and destructive.

First, it is insulting to men. I am not a man, but I bet if someone was constantly saying that I, as a respectable human being, had animalistic tendencies and urges that just could not be fought, I would be slightly offended every now and then. Men are strong and brave and capable. Believe that, and stop letting the world make our men into children- or worse, animals.

Secondly, it is insulting to God. This applies to every area. Not just in the area of modesty. When God made man and woman, he actually set MAN up to be the head of the household. What in the world was He thinking? He obviously doesn’t understand that men can’t even control their own urges let alone control a home, a church, or community. Umm, I think God knew what He was doing. He actually gave us an entire book of great examples of what a strong man could be when yielded completely to Him. He gave us Moses and Joshua and King David and the Apostle Paul… And so many other strong brave [yet imperfect] men. Have we forgotten that all men can live up to what God expects of them? God didn’t. He believes in them…. and He knows what He is doing.

Lastly, it is destructive. When we have this attitude of “men can’t control themselves so we have to dress modestly and treat them like children and constantly beat them over the head with what they are supplied to be doing or what they are doing wrong,” well, we destroy everything God has made them to be. Of course, they are going to sit back and think… “Well I can’t control myself anyway. I am just like an animal. It’s their fault for not protecting me or dressing that way or not reminding me enough how to be a man. I might as well…..” Come on.

We need a generation of men. So how are we going to see this happen? We need to remind them of who they were meant to be. Men of honor, and courage, and purity, and bravery, and strength, and love. We need to see in them everything we believe GREAT men to be.

You want a big, strong, great man? Build them up. Tearing them down will only get you a small, weak, destroyed man.

I’m not saying throw off all your responsibility because they can handle it from here. I’m saying… Let’s turn it around. Trust the men in your life with being who they were called to be. Do YOUR part to build them up and encourage them. Draw out the greatness with words of encouragement and affirmation. Stop expecting so little of such great men. They can do it. Believe in them… expect and allow them to be MEN.