29

Dear Single Girl,

plan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many of you have only just started following me in the recent weeks, or months or even in the past year, so you know that I am happily married. Yes, I have probably turned into that girl who posts too many pictures of her and her husband. You know the ones that make you roll your eyes, but also wish for the same for yourself? I know…. because I have been there. Looking at other relationships, and feeling lonely or sad or even just plain sorry for myself. Maybe you have no idea the archives on this very blog are filled with posts of a single girl patiently (and not-so-patiently) waiting on her forever love.

See, I didn’t get married young, although I always thought I would. I thought I would go to college, and find a guy, and get married right away… that was my plan. However, it was not my God’s plan. God’s plan was for me to wait, and wait a lot longer than I ever thought or wanted, and I started this blog in that season of waiting.

Today, I want to go back there with you to just encourage your heart, because it is so easy for me to remember how it felt to be in your shoes, and how just a few words of encouragement, that maybe you didn’t even want to admit that you needed, made all the difference some days.

First of all, while the world is bombarding you with mixed messages, you have to stay grounded in the truth. From “You’re nothing without a man” and “#relationshipgoals” to “You are a fierce single lady and the world is your playground so kick every man to the curb and stay focused on YOU, darling,” it is hard to know where you fit in. Even if you did know where you fit, what are you supposed to do about it? How are you supposed to feel when everyone around you is in a relationship, getting married, or having kids?

Well, the truth is everyone’s story is different.

Every single one of your friends might get married and have 3 or 4 kids (like most of mine did) before you even start a meaningful relationship. And guess what? That’s okay. I know you’re thinking, No it isn’t. YES it is! It is okay because your story, God’s plan for your life, is different from theirs. Don’t waste time rebelling against what God has in store for your life. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will become grateful for every day that you are living out His plan, even if it doesn’t include a man.

You’re thinking, so you’re saying to “enjoy my single years” listening to Adele and eating ice cream all by myself. Well, yes. How? You have to have an unwavering seed of faith even on the hard days when you’re lonely and you cry to Adele in your car, that God loves you, and He has a plan that you just don’t understand yet. Yes, it is possible to wish and hope and pray for your future husband without letting it affect your overall lifestyle. I prayed and struggled, you can read it all here on my blog, but I didn’t walk around in a puddle of sadness all the time. I went out and did things and had fun and I did enjoy my single years, and looking back I know it was God’s plan for me and I’m so thankful that everything happened the way it did, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was hard. I won’t pretend that it was.

I use this weird analogy all the time.

Being single is like having a baby. {Ok I know it sounds weird but hear me out.} Have you ever heard a mother talk about her labor and delivery? Yes it was awful. Yes it was terrifying, and gruesome, and more painful than the human mind can comprehend {that may just be my interpretation} but would they do it again? Yes. No question. And many of them do! Thank The Lord or most of us wouldn’t be here today. Well, being single isn’t all that bad lol but sometimes it’s lonely, and hard, and discouraging and disappointing……. But then you meet them. You fall in love, and you kinda forget how awful it was to be single. Why? Because all of it was just….. Worth it. All the waiting and lonely nights and teary hopeful prayers all seem to fade away because God has made everything perfect in His time.

Because one day, Michael walked into my life, and it has never been the same. And I know that the same will happen to you, and you’ll get married and face new and exciting challenges together. I can tell you it’s going to be okay, and remind you every day of the plan of God for your life, or you can let your faith in God’s timing and His goodness and His faithfulness and His love be your wings for this season. You can bury in your heart the promise that if you surrender your heart to His plan, the desires that He has placed in your heart will come to pass. You can believe for yourself that even on the not so easy days, (when you aren’t feeling like a fierce single woman who doesn’t need no man) that your prince will come, and you will get your happily ever after.

And, for those days too, you have a friend here who knows what’s up…. take a look around here, and read some more posts about my thoughts and feelings as a single girl just like you.

Til next time, chin up, beautiful. xo

7

So you think you’re ready for a long distance relationship?

So you think you're ready for a long distance relationship? thefulltimegirl.com

I have gotten several emails from girls asking about long distance relationships so I wanted to take some time to talk about them here. As most of you know, I have been in a long distance relationship with my soon to be husband for the past year and a half, but what you don’t know…
Continue reading »

13

Let’s Talk About Sex

This is an excellent guest post by my brother, Richard DeMoss, from his blog Bold and Unashamed. Go Check it out! Side note: I took the liberty of adding my own thoughts {since I am his sister I am allowed} to make it a collaboration type piece. My words are in PINK.

A phrase you will never hear in most church services across the world. “Let’s talk about sex.” Most young people today who come to the church with questions about sex or struggling with this issue are met with silence. Even the word sex has become a dirty word, meant for late-night talk shows and ABC family. A discussion about sex has no place in the church, no place in the youth group. Don’t talk about it, don’t think about it, and maybe it will go away.

The problem is, the discussion does go away. It goes right where parents and churches can’t help. The world. Everything that a young person wants to know, and more. A discussion about sex is easy to find; anywhere but the church.

In this generation, more than ever, we are inundated with the idea and images of sex everywhere we look. School systems are forcing sex education on children as young as 5. If we don’t start getting loud about purity, then we will LOSE the battle in our generation and the generations to come.

A couple weeks ago I posed a question on Twitter: Why is it important to you to stay pure? The response I got was overwhelming. So many young people wanting to stay pure. I was so encouraged. But for every person who has decided to stay pure, there are thousands who don’t really understand “what the big deal is”. Why is it so important to stay pure? It’s not hurting anyone right?

So here we are. I want to take some time and talk about the taboo that is sex. I want to show you, from God’s perspective, why it is so important to stay pure. My hope is that in the midst of your search for answers, you will see this, and join the team of young people deciding to stay pure in this sin-sick world.

Let’s talk about sex.

1. Sex is not a dirty word.

Too many times in a young Christian’s life, they are met with silence when they have questions about sex. Or are too afraid to ask at all for fear of sounding evil or perverted. Churches don’t talk about it. Parents choke up and avoid the conversation. “Don’t have sex; or you’ll get pregnant and die.” When we don’t get answers from our parents, we turn to our friends, which is rarely a good idea.  A bunch of pre-teens, who cant stop laughing at the word poop, talking about sex. When that doesn’t satisfy, we turn to the internet. Now that’s a great idea. They can’t put anything on the internet that isn’t true, right?

So instead of getting our information from solid, biblical sources, we get it from the dung-heap that is the internet.  We make sex a dirty thing, something we search for in the dark when we’re alone.

Warning: Sex on the internet is not real sex. Pornography, a topic the church is as silent on if not more, is not what God created sex to be, and it is not harmless. Please get that the damage that is done by pornography is far more than the average person realizes. The fact is the more time you spend in this fantasy world, the more difficult it becomes to make the transition to reality. Just like drugs, pornography provides a quick fix, a universe people can get stuck in. This can result in their not being able to involve anyone else.” Meaning men addicted to pornography eventually can not have normal relations with real women.

It also skews men’s perspective when it comes to women. Unlike real life, the pornographic world is a place in which men find their authority unchallenged and in which women are their willing, even grateful servants. It’s sick. Satan has successfully twisted what God has created to be beautiful and saved for marriage and destroyed it with one fatal swipe. Pornography is a lie. It promotes lies about men, women, and human relationships. Even when in a loving relationship, men who have used porn say that, all too often, they see their partner through a kind of “pornographic filter”. Do the research yourself! Even secular studies and psychologists say this. Porn is like alcoholism: it clings to you like a leech….. and it only gets darker and more disgusting. In its severest form, it can even lead to sexual crime. That is disgusting. That is dirty.

But sex isn’t dirty. In fact, its quite the opposite.

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” –Hebrews 13:4

“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply…”-Genesis 1:28

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”-Genesis 2:24

Sex isn’t the dirty act that it has transformed into. Sex was created by God. Get this: God is the author of sex! He has created sex as the union of a man and woman, an act both intimate and beautiful. Sex was created for us.

2. Sex was created for marriage.

Notice the verses above. In all these verses God is speaking specifically about a marriage relationship. Sex is a gift, when it is inside the confines of marriage.

When you take sex outside of the sanctity of marriage is when sex becomes sin. Inside the marriage relationship, sex is an expression of love, of commitment. Outside of marriage, sex becomes cheap.  Sex becomes like any other hobby. When sex is viewed as an extracurricular activity, it loses all the beauty that God had originally given it. Love becomes lust. Commitment becomes self-satisfaction.

There’s no getting around it. Sex outside of marriage is sin.

“Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.” –1 Corinthians 6:13b

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18

“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

God is 100 percent against pre-marital sex. Period.

“And the flesh is that reprehensible preference for self that lurks within every one of our hearts. It is that base and selfish instinct to preserve our own interests at the expense of God’s interests. It’s devious, it’s deceitful, it’s self-indulgent. It’s interested only in selfish comfort and will happily crucify Christ afresh to secure it. God also has another name for it- sin.” -Eric Ludy.

3. Sex outside of marriage is dangerous.

Not only is it following God’s plan to stay pure until marriage, it’s smart! You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that abstinence is the healthiest way to live. Sixty-five million people are living with STDs in the United States alone, with 15 million people contracting new infections every year.

No type of birth control protects against sexually transmitted diseases like Chlamydia, HPV, or herpes; and are no guarantee against AIDS. Hundreds of thousands of women are discovering that they cannot have children due to pelvic inflammatory disease caused by chlamydia. Pelvic inflammatory disease is, in fact, one of the causes of the declining birth rate. Again, 90% of those with Chlamydia have no symptoms.

HPV (human papilloma virus) leads to warts on one’s genitals that need to be burned off. Sometimes these warts can spread to one’s hands, and then it can be passed to any babies that one is caring for. However, the greatest risk is to women caused by HPV is cervical cancer.

Herpes also leads to embarrassing and painful sores. If a baby is delivered naturally during the mother’s first bout of herpes, the baby will be infected leading in many cases to either the babies death or brain damage.

Girls, of the 30 sexually transmitted diseases, 26 damage women, the other 4 damage both. Guys aren’t off the hook though. When it comes to marrying, what are they bringing their wife? Her risk of infection has nothing to do with whether he used a condom or got tested. Her risk of infection has everything to do with him having BEEN sexually active.

Think young people are immune? Think again. 50% of sexually active young people will contract an STD by 25. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like those odds.

It gets worse. It’s estimated that around 1 in 5 people over the age of 12 has genital herpes. Of those infected, only 10-25 percent know they are infected. WOW. If you fool around, the House will win, every time. Having sex outside of marriage is like playing Russian roullette, with more than one bullet in the gun. Staying pure is a great way to reduce your rick of sexually transmitted infections. (You don’t say!)

Not only is sex outside of marriage dangerous physically, it’s dangerous emotionally. Sex is an intimate act created for husband and wife. When we forsake God’s plan for our plan, we destroy a part of us we can’t get back.

The act of sex creates a bond between two souls. One that is not supposed to be broken or taken lightly. God literally created sex to bind a man to his wife and a wife to her husband. When we choose the world’s way of engaging in all the sexual activity we want with whomever we want, the bond created by sex gets lesser and lesser with each partner. What we have left for marriage is a used up body and a disillusioned soul. No wonder there is so much infidelity in the world. Sex- the beautiful God-given covenant between and man and his wife- has been used up and destroyed. Sex is no longer sacred to this world, but for those who choose purity, sex is still beautiful.

“From 17 to 18, I was very promiscuous. That sick, used feeling of having given  a precious part of myself – my soul – to so many and for nothing, still aches. I never imagined I’d pay so dearly and for so long.” -Young woman in her 30′s

“I would do anything, ANYTHING, to forget the sexual experiences I had before I met my wife. . . the pictures of the past and the other women go through my head, and it’s killing any intimacy. The truth is, I’ve been married to this wonderful woman for eight years and I have never been ‘alone’ in the bedroom with her.” – A young husband.

“It’s not  something you want on your conscience, that you’ve caused a girl to have deep emotional problems. The thing I regret most of all about high school is the time I single-handedly destroyed a girl.” -A young man.

Guys, your future wife deserves more than an empty shell of what used to be. Ladies, your husband deserves to have your whole heart, not the broken pieces of your shattered purity. Purity is not only right, it’s smart.

There are not only physical consequences, but psychological and physiological.

Men “imprint” on their first sexual experience. Author, marriage counselor, and Pastor Mark Gungor puts it like this, “Some years ago, while doing some video taping of cranes in the wild from a helicopter, I learned of how these birds “imprint” when they are first born. In other words, whatever creature they first interact with after birth, they assume it is their mother, even if it is a human. I immediately thought of what first-time sex does to a man. This overwhelming new experience IMPRINTS on him and he connects the context with the experience. Those who have their first sexual experience outside of marriage imprint on the lust of illicit sex – those who have their first sexual experience in the context of marriage imprint on the girl. NOTHING impacts a man like his first sexual experience.”

What about women? Mark goes on to say, “When a woman experiences sex without commitment, she soon learns (falsely) that sex means little to nothing. Why? Because nothing happens as a result: no meaningful relationship ensues – he may never even call her or talk to her again. She has inaccurately learned that sex and commitment are two completely separate issues, which they are not. As for the physiological damage, science shows us that when a woman has sex with a man, a chemical called oxytocin is released into her system. Oxytocin is a neuro-peptide most commonly associated with pregnancy and breast-feeding. It seems to act as a human superglue and helps a woman bond with her infant. This chemical also helps a woman bond with her lover during sex. New scientific studies, however, suggest that if a woman has multiple sexual partners, this will lower her levels of oxytocin which in turn can inhibit her ability to bond to her husband. According to an article by Drs. John Diggs and Eric Keroack, “People who have misused their sexual faculty and become bonded to multiple persons will diminish the power of oxytocin to maintain a permanent bond with an individual.”

4. God forgives.

You’ve made mistakes. You’ve compromised your purity. Now you feel like there’s nothing you can do to get it back. I’m about to tell you the best news, for all of us. God forgives.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. –1 John 1:9

I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. –Isaiah 43:25

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. –Psalm 103:12

God will forgive you of your past impurity if you will ask him. God is faithful. God is merciful. You can start being pure today. Don’t ever think it’s too late to start over.

It is also a comfort to those who have already made mistakes in this area. Having made mistakes in this area does NOT make you un-marriable. There is more than enough mercy and grace in Jesus Christ to cover any and all sin if we repent and ask forgiveness. Praise God that He is so good not to hold any of our sin against us, and our souls have been redeemed by the blood. Minds can be renewed, and godly marriages can be built.

__________________________

If you have stayed pure up to this point, wow. I am so proud of you. God is so proud of you. You have come so far. You are some of the strongest people in the world. God will bless you if you stay pure. Your wedding night will be the best night of your life, because you will have no regrets.

If you are just deciding to stay pure, I am so proud of YOU. Starting today, forge a path of purity in your life. Make the changes you need to. God has forgiven you and will bless you.

Above all, refuse to be silent when it comes to sex. Show the world that you have decided to be pure. There are young adults all over the world looking for answers. You can be the one to show them the truth. You never know who you will influence, what young person’s life you will change by your testimony. Go show the world that we are not going to compromise our purity for temporary pleasure. We are staying pure, and we are bold and unashamed of it.

Let us be men and women who take a stand for purity– not just in not having sex, but in correcting the lies of the world when it comes to it. Let’s really protect the sanctity of biblical marriage. Let’s encourage others to protect their purity. Let’s boldly speak out and be proud to be men and women who will do it God’s way and wait for marriage.

I am convinced that the human heart hungers for constancy. In forfeiting the sanctity of sex by casual, nondiscriminatory “making out” and “sleeping around,” we forfeit something we cannot well do without. There is dullness, monotony, sheer boredom in all of life when virginity and purity are no longer protected and prized.”  -Elisabeth Elliot

About the Author

Richard DeMoss is the founder at Bold and Unashamed. He is also a high-school teacher with a burden for young Christians. While traveling around the country visiting churches, he saw first-hand many problems that Christians face today, which prompted Richard to start Bold and Unashamed. Since then, it has become a movement to inspire a new generation to be unapologetic in their faith. In addition to blogging, he enjoys bacon, Jeopardy, bacon, colorful socks, and bacon.
Follow him on twitter HERE
Like the Bold and Unashamed facebook page HERE
And go like thefulltimegirl facebook page, too! HERE please and thank you :]
14

Ladies, you want a big, strong, great man?

I know I talk about modesty a lot. I do that because I want girls to see their worth is in their hearts instead of in their bodies. They don’t have to catch a man showing off parts of their bodies that are for their husbands eyes only. This is not because your body is bad or those parts of your body are bad. They aren’t at all. They are beautiful and sacred and special and when they are covered, it keeps them that way. The most precious of jewels aren’t for everyday wear. They aren’t even for everyone. Only the one who pays the highest price gets to own them, and even then, they are taken care of and prized and set apart. This is what your body is. It is only meant for your husband to see and treasure….

However, I never want my message to be confused with saying that we need to keep our bodies covered because men can not control themselves. They most certainly can. In this crazy sex-obsessed world, there are actually men who keep their minds clean and pure. [everyone put on your shocked faces] In all reality, God says it can be done, and it can.

To say or think or promote the idea that men can not control themselves is insulting and demeaning and destructive.

First, it is insulting to men. I am not a man, but I bet if someone was constantly saying that I, as a respectable human being, had animalistic tendencies and urges that just could not be fought, I would be slightly offended every now and then. Men are strong and brave and capable. Believe that, and stop letting the world make our men into children- or worse, animals.

Secondly, it is insulting to God. This applies to every area. Not just in the area of modesty. When God made man and woman, he actually set MAN up to be the head of the household. What in the world was He thinking? He obviously doesn’t understand that men can’t even control their own urges let alone control a home, a church, or community. Umm, I think God knew what He was doing. He actually gave us an entire book of great examples of what a strong man could be when yielded completely to Him. He gave us Moses and Joshua and King David and the Apostle Paul… And so many other strong brave [yet imperfect] men. Have we forgotten that all men can live up to what God expects of them? God didn’t. He believes in them…. and He knows what He is doing.

Lastly, it is destructive. When we have this attitude of “men can’t control themselves so we have to dress modestly and treat them like children and constantly beat them over the head with what they are supplied to be doing or what they are doing wrong,” well, we destroy everything God has made them to be. Of course, they are going to sit back and think… “Well I can’t control myself anyway. I am just like an animal. It’s their fault for not protecting me or dressing that way or not reminding me enough how to be a man. I might as well…..” Come on.

We need a generation of men. So how are we going to see this happen? We need to remind them of who they were meant to be. Men of honor, and courage, and purity, and bravery, and strength, and love. We need to see in them everything we believe GREAT men to be.

You want a big, strong, great man? Build them up. Tearing them down will only get you a small, weak, destroyed man.

I’m not saying throw off all your responsibility because they can handle it from here. I’m saying… Let’s turn it around. Trust the men in your life with being who they were called to be. Do YOUR part to build them up and encourage them. Draw out the greatness with words of encouragement and affirmation. Stop expecting so little of such great men. They can do it. Believe in them… expect and allow them to be MEN.

36

Breaking Up is Hard to Do.

So you broke up. The person you loved took a good look at you and all you had to offer, looked you in the eye, and said, “I’ll try my luck elsewhere.” It has become glaringly clear that this was not the match made in heaven that you once thought it was. For whatever reason whoever they were decided you were not worth it anymore.

What now? Well, here are a couple things you need to know.

1. It hurts.

I know it hurts. It’s gonna hurt… And guess what- That’s ok. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to be hurt. You invested your time, your emotions,  yourself in that person, and they walked away. You’re gonna cry. Because it mattered. If it didn’t matter, if you were some cold, heartless ice queen, it wouldn’t hurt. But, you aren’t. You are kind and caring and loving and giving and it mattered. You’ll ask yourself every question you can think of, what, why, how come? And the more you talk yourself out of being hurt the more real the pain becomes. Well, I’m telling you that it’s okay. Accept the fact that you care. Accept the fact that this does hurt- it physically and emotionally hurts. Because once you tell yourself its ok to be hurt, you can then help yourself begin to heal.

2. You rock.

You’re anything but confident at the moment, but there are a few things you should know. You are beautiful. You have so much to offer. You have infinite worth. Just because that one person out of 7 billion failed miserably at seeing it doesn’t mean it is not true. You are lovely, my darling, and you have to be brave enough to really believe this. You have people around you that love you. Love them back. Open your eyes and your arms and embrace all that God has given to you. Because one day you are going to look back and embrace this too. This is your journey. This is God directing your path if that is what your heart wants. You deserve to be with someone who digs you. Every little thing about you. If anyone doesn’t dig you, you need to move on. You have an obligation to rock in your life. You must rock..because there is someone out there who is looking for exactly the stuff that you are made of.

3. God has better in store for you.

Cliche, I get it, but the first step in finding something better out there is first believing that there is, in fact, something better out there. God is pretty cool. He made your heart, your mind, your personality. He made it all. I’m pretty sure he can make someone else who digs it. I am pretty sure that the God of the universe can find someone who won’t walk away. Because if this guy was God’s plan, he wouldn’t have passed you by. You trusted God with your salvation, and your life, and hopefully your relationship, and God chose a different path for you. He is in charge and no one else can mess up God’s plan for your life. This broken relationship is not going to be mended by sitting around asking questions forever. You have to leave the pieces on the floor, and move on with your life. Soon, the man of God will walk into your life. You won’t be wondering and guessing about the timing or his feelings. You won’t be waiting around for a phone call. You won’t be ruining your life running in circles trying to figure it all out. You won’t be feeling like ignored or rejected. You will be too busy being adored. He is coming. Wait for it.

Stop checking your ex’s facebook page, or twitter, or instagram. Stop asking all his friends about him. A break up should be just that- a BREAK. Think about your future no-name husband and all his spiritual strength and godly, sweet heart and think, “What are the things that I can do today that he would be proud of?” Pining over a guy who leaves us because he didn’t see your worth-and it’s easy to do, girls- is not something that he would be proud of. I know it’s easier said than done this moving on process, but just think back to your other little heart breaks when you thought, “Wow, I don’t think God can pull me through.” But He did! And He will again. You just have to turn over the broken pieces of your precious heart to His healing Hands. Give it all to Him…. He has is all figured out already.

4. Hello… You have work to do.

So that guy was not the one, and you haven’t met the one yet. While you are daydreaming about the wonderful mystery of your future, don’t forget about your purpose. This may come as a surprise but the grand purpose of your life is not just to get married.

You see, I have come to the realization that if I could serve God better and bring Him more glory married, then, I would be married right now at this very moment. So even though sometimes I don’t like to admit it, God knows better than I do. I could try to convince Him otherwise all I want, but He knows the perfect timing for everything in our lives. If we are living to serve Him, then He will take care of it! Right now, you have a job to do. A job that could not be done if you were married. A job that will bring God the MOST glory if you do it now, while you are single.

Figure out what you are supposed to be doing, and get busy doing it!

Get busy working toward things that really matter. Seek the kingdom FIRST, because even marriage is a temporary state that will eventually give way to the beautiful reality of what the picture points to- our relationship with Jesus Christ. He is enough, anyways. No one will truly complete you except Him.

5. Trust God.

Basically, you know what you have to do. Trust your Heavenly Father. You WANT His will. He is going to lead you into it, and He is not going to let you make a decision that isn’t a part of it. He is not going to let you marry someone who doesn’t see you true value- and he obviously doesn’t if he let you go. God is too good for that and He loves us too much.

And He knows. He knows that you long for companionship so badly that it hurts. He knows exactly what you need, and if you let Him and if you love Him, He can work all things together for your good and His glory. Dig into the word and claim every singe promise you find! You have to trust His plan, and know that He is writing a story so magnificent it would make Nicholas Sparks swoon.

Chin up, beautiful. There are brighter days ahead.

*****

Dear beautiful girl,

I know, My daughter, I know. That thing you wanted is not going to happen. Not the way you’ve always dreamed. I know this hurts. I know this stings. I know you feel like I am distant or not aware of where you are and who hurt you and what you think life was supposed to be like. I know this world is hard on you. I know that you are hard on yourself. I know that you struggle to believe that I have created you in the most loving and delicate way possible. You are exactly how I wanted you. Made in My image and designed for My purpose. I know that others in the past have made you doubt that you are worthy of love, but that ends today. I AM your Father, the King of kings, and have given you worth beyond that of the galaxies. I faced death to be with you, and no matter who sees it, no matter who knows, you and I know, you are My princess and you are worth loving. I know in moments like this you doubt that I can count the hairs on your head or have your best in mind. But please, I am not done. I have barely started to reveal your life to you. I am the God who satisfies your desires with good things. That is ME! And when it comes to your hopes and your fears and your dreams, I know.

Love, your Heavenly Father

12

Don’t be a Missionary.

What is the purpose of dating? Well, in the Bible, the only scriptural reason for being in a relationship with someone was to pursue a godly marriage with that person. People did not just date around for the fun of it. There is absolutely no Bible basis for being romantically involved with someone you can not see yourself marrying. That doesn’t mean break ups don’t happen or anyone is necessarily wrong if they do, but the purpose of dating is only to find a possible mate.

“Dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn’t yours.” -Jefferson Bethke

It is so unwise and wrong to get involved in a relationship that is going no where… just for fun. Romantic relationships were designed by God and have a special role and purpose in His plan.

Relationships are not meant to be recreational.

That being said, with a feminine culture today obsessed with romance novels and chick flicks, I want to talk about “missionary dating,” that is the coined term for dating someone who is not a Christian. Is our love life supposed to be part of our mission field?

First of all, I want to say that it is hard enough to find a “Christian” guy who actually loves God, has submitted his will to God’s, and really lives all the things that he claims to believe. [I mean we complain about it so much we should know how hard it is.] If we are so appalled at the behavior of Christian guys who lack conviction, why would we settle for a guy who doesn’t hold ANY of our values dear?

Secondly, relationships are work. Marriage is work. It takes a lot of work to get married, stay married, and raise a godly family these days. Not every day is Valentine’s, people. Now imagine doing that with someone who does not care about the things of God that you do. Sure it was fine in the beginning, but love is a choice and more so after years of knowing one another when all the newness and mystery and butterflies have lessened, you wake up to that person everyday. There has got to be something deeper to sustain a relationship. There have got to be a spiritual bond in Christ that move you both in the same direction—> Toward God. If there isn’t, you are taking the journey alone.

Girls, If a man isn’t busy pursuing God, he has no business pursuing you.

Third, what about your children? Maybe he/she “respects” your beliefs and maybe even loves it now, but what about when it comes to teaching your children about the Jesus you love and serve? Missionary dating leads to missionary marrying. What about when your core values in raising your children don’t line up with your unsaved husband’s or wife’s? What then?

“Can I say something to young ladies here? I’m trying to pick my words carefully here. Your husband, whoever he is, single ladies, will have an unbelievable amount of influence over your sons and daughters in regards to spiritual things. If you want your children to love Jesus deeply, hold out for a man that is Godly. And let me tell you this: I am well aware that Godly men are rare. Lots of neat Christian boys, not a lot of Godly men. And we’re working our tails off for you to try to develop some into that. But don’t settle, because it’s better that you be lonely now than you be married and lonely later. Are you tracking with me? It is better that you be lonely now than for you to get married to a man that will teach your kids everything but the way of Jesus.” – Matt Chandler

Who you are attracted to says a lot about what YOU value. If you place value in the things of God above all else, then you will look for and WAIT for a godly spouse. If you are more concerned with having a boyfriend or girlfriend NOW, then you will settle for anyone “nice” who looks your way.

In 2 Corinthians 6:14, 17 it reads, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.”

Coming out from among them and being separate does not sound like getting involved in an emotional, romantic relationship.. am I right?

God longs to give his children his very best. He wants you to obey Him so that He can bless you with a godly spouse and a godly, happy home. He wants you and your spouse to individually move toward HIM everyday, and, in turn move toward each other! That is God’s plan for you! He wants you to find your worth in HIM alone– not in any relationship or a life you think you “deserve.” He is the only one who builds things that truly last.

Fourth, and especially to the girls: unsaved guys are looking for ONE thing from you. They have been accustomed to a certain lifestyle. Don’t expect him to treat you like Jesus would. After he takes you out to dinner or a movie, giving you gifts or taking you to social functions such as church (since you are a Christian) he will expect for you to follow through with the next step- sex. Don’t trick yourself into thinking he’s being nice to you and not expecting to have his “physical needs” be accommodated.

If you think you are stronger, don’t fool yourself. We are still in the flesh and, if left unchecked, we can fall into sexual sins. These men know they can have the girls of the world anytime they want, but to make a Christian church girl give their virtue up to them is a feather in their cap. They WILL use you and lose you. It is not worth it. It is a big deal to God.

Paul states in 1Thessalonians 4:3-4, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abtain from fornication (sexual immorality). That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 reads, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”

Lastly, many people use the excuse that they are the only hope their unsaved boyfriend or girlfriend will ever have of knowing Jesus. Don’t be deceived–You are not the Holy Spirit Junior. There are no guarantees in life, and this includes the salvation of your current date. God gives each person free will. If that person does not want to come to Christ apart from you, it is unlikely that they will truly come to Christ for you.

“This message is not popular… In God’s eyes, there are only two types of people. There are those who follow Jesus and those who do not. The Bible tells us, if you are not for God, you are against God. Now, if you have chosen to follow Jesus, then you are not to have fellowship with those who are against Jesus. Do not say they are not against Jesus, when the Bible has shown us that if a person is not for God (if he is not saved), then he is against God. The only way that a person can be for God is through receiving Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of his life. If a person rejects Jesus, they are against God.” John MacArthur

If we are saved, our lives are transformed. We are dead to sin and to the flesh and to the world, and we are alive unto Christ. Christ has made us new and transformed our hearts which leads to transforming of our entire lives. We have the Holy Spirit always with us, and a mission to the world to tell them about the gospel. Our entire lives should be wrapped up in our Jesus and his message.

We can not live the plan of God for our lives if we are in disobedience to his word, and we can not have successful relationships if we are not living in God’s plan.

He said it, not me. Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Come out from among them, and be ye separate. Any emotional attachment you have toward a person who is not on the same spiritual page as you, or vice versa, is an unhealthy attachment. Read and learn from those such as Samson in the Bible, and do now what you’ll otherwise wish you would have done later. Obey God’s Word, and DON’T be a missionary in this area. Yes, that means break up and move on.

Ask yourself–  Do I believe God? Do I value the things found in his word? Am I willing to undergo temporary “loneliness” or discomfort to welcome God’s BEST into my life later on? If you answered yes to these questions, then you will look for and hold out for a spouse that is godly so that you can raise a godly family to the glory of God.

And God will bless you for it. :]

 

10

Stop waiting. Start living.

Growing up, I had always dreamed of finding the guy of my dreams, falling in love, getting married, and living happily ever after. That was the goal. That is when my life would begin.

Well, the years went by with still no luck in relationships, and I started to think, I am in my 20’s….. and I may not be married till I am in my 30’s, and I am waiting to “begin my life” until my wedding day. Will I someday look back on my younger years and think that I wasted them? Wasted them wishing for a guy to come save me…wishing for a life someone else had… wishing for my fairytale ending?

No. Not me. I will not waste these days, because I will not get them back. There are things I can do, and focus on, and strive for right now that I would not get to do if I was married with children. God has a plan for this time, and I will not miss it, by wishing my life away or feeling bad for myself when I am right where God wants me.

This life is not about me.

I am not promised tomorrow. I could die before I ever get married…. or I may possibly never get married. It may just not be in God’s plan. Could I be content with my life if that happened?

It is all about Him. The end. Not getting the stuff we want out of serving Him.

Everyone wants it. That perfect relationship. The one where he calls you beautiful, and special, and his. The one where everything reminds you of that person. The one where when you spend time together, you are completely happy and at peace. The one where you just know…. you just know that you were meant for each other.

He is my perfect forever relationship. I have found who I was meant for… and, here is the cool part, you are meant for Him too. Each and every one of us were meant for God. You and God were literally made for each other.

No, really and seriously, you were made FOR God, and made to be with Him. He made you for Himself.

I can not tell you the freedom came when I realized that God is my other half…. and not just until someone better comes along. It is not about getting what we want out of God, It is about being completely His.

You were created to bring Him pleasure with your fellowship, with your singing, with your beauty, with your praise, with your love.

He is the One for you. He is our true love, our fulfillment, and our joy.

Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God. 1 John 3:1a

And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power. Colossians 2:10

So many of us are searching for that person here on earth. We are waiting for a somebody to come along and fill the void. We look for a completer piece to an emptiness in our hearts that was meant for God alone to fill, and until we discover this, we will not be whole, relationship or not.

You were made perfectly by God with everything you need to bring Him joy and glory. He made your face exactly how he loves it. He gave you the perfect hair, skin, and teeth to bring a smile to his face. Your personality is just right for Him. When He looks at you, He is enthralled with your beauty. He is always there to listen and give the best and most perfect answer.

Out of all of God’s creations, you are one of His very favorites.

He longs to have a relationship with you. He longs for you to know His love. He longs to fill your heart, and give you peace and satisfaction with His promises and comforts found in His word. It pleases Him to be number one in our hearts, and to obey His words out of a heart of love.

He loves you more than anyone you have ever known on earth with a love you could not even imagine. He is your other half. Fall in love with Jesus. That’s it. He offers so much more than anyone in this world ever could give, and it is a relationship better than any you will ever know.

A human being on earth can never fulfill what was meant to be filled by the one you were made for, and it will destroy your relationships if you expect them to. You will have a miserable life and marriage if that relationship is where you find your identity….. even if it hasn’t happened yet.

God will never leave you or forsake you. He comforts, and restores. He leads you and guides you. He is your best friend, and your closest ally. He knows you the best and loves you the most.

The LORD has appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved you with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3

God is the end. He is our happy ending. Christ is our goal. A husband is great and a blessing from God, and there is nothing wrong with getting married. I certainly still want to… but, if God has chosen to keep me for Himself, and to be completely and solely His for a while longer…. or even forever, I can be content with that. It even makes me feel special. Because I am made whole, filled up, and complete… and in love with Him. Because, even after marriage, no one will complete me and fulfill me like Jesus does.

There will be a wedding one day, more beautiful than we could ever imagine, when our Prince will come. When a nail-scarred hand will reach out and take ours, and lead us through the gates of heaven to forever be with our Bride-groom. This is the wedding day that is our goal.. that is the happy ending, and that day is only the beginning. This is the day that should give us butterflies in our stomachs, and this is the day we should be preparing ourselves for.

So… Stop waiting, and start living. Start living for the One who loves you. Start falling more in love with Him everyday. Start finding your everything in His arms. Stop wasting your days pining over whats not in God’s plan yet. Stop waiting to give your everything to someone else. Fall in love with Jesus, and give your everything to Him.

Your life is now.

******************

This song by Casting Crowns is amazing. It tells of this the day we will meet our Bride-groom. I wanted to share it with you…I can not wait for this day.

8

The insanity of destructive relationships.

Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

A healthy relationship allows a person to grow in spirit as an individual. From the most obvious beating and punching to the very subtle cynical remarks and insults, any kind of abuse is destructive. It may seem easy to turn a blind eye to the destructive qualities of a relationship but it is better to recognize one and end it early to avoid pain in the future.

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another. Romans 12:10

Why do people stay in destructive relationships? Why do people experience pain and yet remain unwilling to change their circumstances when it is in their power to do so?

Pain is and always has been a sign from our body telling us that something is wrong. We can choose to respond to the pain by investigating the source and changing our insides or our outsides or we can choose to ignore that vital sign, and continue to endure the pain. I believe there is a certain amount of pain that a person can endure without changing. This emotional threshold is the point where a person says, “Enough is enough. I’ve had it. No more.” If you have ever been in destructive relationship and finally made a decision to use your power and take action, it is because you hit a level of pain that you were not willing to settle for anymore. That is the magical moment when pain becomes our friend— a warning sign of something that is wrong driving us to different action to produce new results. Until that point, a person can put up with a significant amount of emotional pain.

But WHY??

I don’t know. I think it is different is every case. Perhaps it is the fault of their parent’s relationship, maybe a misunderstanding of how relationships are actually supposed to be. Perhaps it is little self-worth. Perhaps it is selfishness or pride…..perhaps it is simply not trusting God to provide something better for you. Most likely, it is a combination of some or all of these things.

Understand that a relationship is destructive when: One or both parties commit physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse upon the other; One person is regularly overprotective, overbearing, or both toward the other; One person is overly dependent upon the other to affirm his or her personal value, to meet all of his or her needs, and to make most of his or her decisions; One person demonstrates a pattern of deceiving the other through lying, hiding, pretending, misleading, or twisting information to make something appear other than what it is; or One person exhibits chronic indifference, neglect, or both toward the thoughts, feelings, or well-being of the other. Know that, while we all can sin against others in these ways occasionally, what makes a relationship destructive is a repetitive pattern of sin, and a lack of awareness, remorse, or significant change. –from The Emotionally Destructive Relationship, copyright 2007 by Leslie Vernick

I think a big reason for not giving up a destructive relationship is pride. You don’t want to admit you have made a mistake that you can not fix.. and trust me, YOU can not fix it. You want so badly to have for yourself this made-up fairytale that you have created in your head even if it is killing you. You are so scared to be alone that you hold on to what you have gotten for yourself with all that you are.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galations 6:7,9

I have been there, and so have others….

“I have been the saddest girl in the world with a mangled heart and the certainty that getting over him was impossible. I’ve been the girl so in love with a person incapable of giving me what I needed out of a relationship that I not only stayed with him but gladly gave away every last shred of my self-esteem to keep him. I’ve been the girl who not only suffers through an unhealthy, demoralizing relationship but goes back to in hopes that time spent apart has inspired him to love me enough to change… or even try. And guess what? It didn’t.

I’ve stood where you’re standing now, broken to the point that I couldn’t get past the idea that my life wasn’t turning out the way I’d planned. But guess what? Once I got through it, and started demanding more from myself and for myself, I got a windfall that I never imagined. Today, my life is even better than I ever dreamed or planned. I have a husband whom I adore and whose love and devotion for me blows my mind every day…two beautiful daughters… and the very best friends and family in the world, whom I am grateful for every day. I would have missed it all if i’d wasted my life trailing after my ex and staying stuck in my grief.”  Amiira Ruotolo Behrendt

Demanding more for yourself is not selfishness. In reality, if you truly found your worth in Jesus Christ, you would know what you deserve. Jesus came to earth, lived 33 years here, went to the cross for you, laid down his life, and rose from the grave after 3 days. You are worth far more than gold to Him, and any man who refuses to treat you like the very child of God that you are is NOT worth your time or emotions. A Godly man who will build a strong house on the foundation of Jesus Christ for your family is what God wants you to desire. He wants the very best for His children, and settling for less is simply not God’s will.

Know that, in a healthy relationship, the people involved should care about each other enough to be committed to each other’s well-being. They should care about each other’s thoughts and feelings, and pay attention to issues that the other person in the relationship considers important or urgent. They should be completely honest with themselves and with each other, and not hesitate to be themselves when they’re together. They should respect each other, and have the freedom to lovingly challenge, confront, and strengthen each other.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. Colossians 3:12-14

It is not an easy thing to do–To change the things necessary in your own heart and mind and determine what you will not longer accept or tolerate in your life–To break ties of destructiveness or patterns of weakness created by unhealthy relationships–To demand more out of the men around you so that you can have a healthy, loving, God-centered relationship. I suggest you start with God. Investigate who you are in Him, and ultimately determine your very worth. Your worth has been radically defined in scripture. [REdefine yourself by His standards] Search it out for yourself.  Once you have determined who you are in Christ and have defined yourself with His words, you can begin to make a list of what you will no longer accept in your life. Here is an example:

I will no longer accept in my life:

1. feeling second to anyone or anything but God in my significant other’s life.
2. feeling insecure on a consistent basis because of someone else’s behavior towards me.
3. being unhappy on consistent basis.
4. being in a relationship for the sake of having a relationship or having a status symbol that makes me feel better about my worth.
5. the WORDS “I’m sorry.” Right behavior in the future is the best apology for wrong behavior in the past.
6. lies. period.
7. disrespectful behavior.
8. mean words said just because someone was tired, hungry, frustrated, or mad.
9. physical or verbal abuse. none.
10. someone who is not clearly a good, loving, and kind person

and things I aspire to become:

1. a good daughter my parents can be proud of.
2. a good sister my siblings can look up to and respect.
3. a good friend my friends can respect, love, and count on.
4. a good mother to my future children.
5. a woman who does not take crap from any man. A woman so confident in who she is in Christ and what she can offer, she would kick the hottest man on earth to the curb if he was not a man that God would approve of.
6. AND most importantly, the woman I am created to be in Christ, my first and forever love.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Lastly, in addition to asking God for wisdom to help you overcome a destructive relationship, Seek council from godly mentors and build a strong support system. Ask many people you trust to help support you, encourage you, be honest with you, help you, hold you accountable to your goals, pray with you, teach you, comfort you, celebrate with you, and help you see more clearly. No one should to stay in a relationship that is hurting them. It is FAR better to remain SINGLE than to stay in a relationship that is destructive. It is not God’s plan for you to settle for less than His best. Seek God’s face, and know that if you will wait on HIM, surrender your all to Him, He has someone that will love you how you were meant to be loved.

As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. Psalm 18:30-32

11

Don’t hate the player.

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12


“Don’t hate the player; hate the game.”

….But seriously, stay away from the player.

So many people play a game with hearts that was never meant to be played. And not only are these people guilty, but in the long run, we also are guilty for letting them drag us along.

These “players” come in so many disguises. Some are very sincere, charming, and even spiritual, and some are open about it- nonchalant in the fact that they treat girls badly. So often, we as girls have a kind of gut sense about these types of guys which we ignore because we want the attention, or we think that we can change them, but let me tell you right now, none of these guys are going to truly commit to you.

Girls, we need to smarten up. If he is a guy who flirts with every girl before us, he is going to be a guy that flirts with every other girl when he is WITH us. They know the exact right things to say to make a girl feel so special when, in reality, nothing they have to offer is special because they are giving it away to every girl.

Before you start texting a guy, talking on the phone or skyping with someone all the time, and giving your heart and emotions away to him, you need to be guarded until you get a sense of what this guy is like. Sometimes it is tricky because these guys are good at what they do, but girls, what you have to offer is so precious, that he should have to work for it. It was never meant to be just given away to anyone who asks. We need to save our emotions and our hearts for a guy who really deserves it.

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another. Romans 12:10

I’m tired of hearing girls complain about getting their hearts broken by guys who didn’t deserve pieces of their hearts in the first place- guys who didn’t prove themselves worthy before they started an emotional relationship with them. We can avoid so much heartache by simply being smart about the guys who we let get close to us.

Ok, so what are some of the “red flags”? What are some of the things that say, “girl, you better run while you can”?

First, if he starts things too fast. Anyone smart knows that if you want something to last you need to take it slow. If he asks you for your number and is calling you “baby” by the fifth text, then run. Don’t let your emotional needs get in the way of your brain.

Secondly, if he is constantly texting these “mystery people.” If he is always holding his phone in a way you can’t see what he is doing…If you ask him to see his phone and deletes messages before he hands it to you….. seriously, he’s not worth your time. Enough said.

Third, If he only wants to talk on his terms. I’m all for letting him do the chasing. I’m the girl, if you want to talk, you text me or you call me… I’m NOT going to; and if you are a smart girl, that is what you will do if you like a guy. However, there comes a point in a relationship when the girl should be able to text the guy whenever she wants for whatever reason, and he should, if at all possible be willing to talk when she needs [within reason, girls]. If he only texts you back when he feels like it, he is not that into you.

Fourth, if he wants to keep you on the hush. If a guy only talks to you on Facebook, or texts you, but doesn’t talk to you in real life…. he doesn’t want to date you.

Fifth, If he refuses to DTR. Define The Relationship. Girls, if you have been “talking” to this guy for a reasonable amount of time, and he still has yet to bring up the fact that he wants to date you… Guess what? HE DOESN’T. Listen up, if you have to ask, or wonder, or be stressed out about the question of this guy committing to you, (after a reasonable amount of time spent) then get out! If you really want something out of this, then number one, you need to ask. It’s a shame that you would have to do this, but if he isn’t man enough to say if this thing is going anywhere.. then ask. Tell him that if he doesn’t commit then you are moving on because that is what you deserve. Number two, If he says “no” or beats around the bush or is unsure, then seriously, walk away. If the guy wakes up the next day and realizes he has made a horrible mistake in letting you go, well then, he is gonna commit this time. But if he doesn’t, then, keep walking. It is sad, but, reality is, you weren’t all that special to him in the first place and you deserve better. Girls, if  a man really wants to be with you, then he will commit, and nothing can make him leave. If he doesn’t, then nothing can make him stay. You are better off single and waiting for a real relationship with someone who truly cares about you. He is just keeping his options open- one foot out the door. You do not deserve to be an option.

If a guy can’t be up front about what he wants out of a relationship, then, chances are, he doesn’t want a relationship.

I’m not talking “it’s not official till it’s on Facebook,” but, there is a point where if a guy truly wants to commit to you and being exclusive with you, then he is going to let YOU know and he is going to let other people know. It is just natural. He is going to be proud of the fact that you are his girl, and you are not going to have to wonder or stress about it. If you are seriously ready for a grown up relationship then you have to stop giving in to these players who are just looking for another pretty face to add to their little collection of girls.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. Colossians 3:12-14

If a man is not committed to being everything he is called to be in Christ, he is not the guy for you; and if he is, then he will not treat you poorly.

Girls, that is not what your Father has intended for you. God has picked out a man for you that will treat you right- with the love and respect that you deserve. You will be special to him because you are special to God. Don’t be afraid to let go of this one guy, and WAIT for the man that your Father has for you. You are so special to God, and he wants you to be treated in the very best way. Wait for it. He’s coming.

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. John 15:12

Guys, if you are one of these players, shame on you. God is not happy about the way you have been treating his daughters. If a girl’s earthly father is slightly intimidating, then you can just imagine how scary her heavenly father, who sees everything, can be. Don’t use the excuse that you are not in a relationship so you can lead on any girl that you want.. or you are “called to singleness” so you can just have everyone’s attention. You will never be everything that God has called you to be or meant for you to be, if you continue to treat his daughters with disrespect. I’m sure you are nice and charming in the literal way you treat girls, all the best players are, but you’re a thief. You trick and play and steal hearts instead of earning them with things that matter- love, trust, honor, faithfulness, and respect. Instead of focusing on having a collection or having everyone’s attention, find ONE girl with a heart worth winning, or just remember things that are taken by thieves are easily stolen away.

There is no excuse for ANY man that claims the name of Christ to treat a woman in a dishonorable, disrespectful way.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Galations 6:7

A good man would not promote someone in his company that treated his own daughter poorly. The same goes with God. He is not going to bless you or what your hands do “for Him”, if things don’t change with regards to his daughters.  I don’t mean to be cliche, but how would Jesus treat the women around him if he were to date? If you are not going to commit to her, let her know and let her go. If you want to be with her, then man up, and make a commitment or you WILL lose her. Good, smart girls know how they deserve to be treated, and you are going to end up all alone. You can not serve yourself and God. If you are one of God’s sons, there will be punishment. He is going to punish you because He takes this seriously. Save YOUR heart and time and emotions, treat people right, and if you do, then you will receive the best for you that God has to offer. Good things come to those who wait.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.       Galations 6:9

A girl’s heart is precious, and her Father knows it. Quit playing around.