15

Oh you model?

All attention is not equal. Girls, you might think that you want attention, but you dont. What you want is respect. I’m so tired of seeing these girls lower themselves to the point where they are prostituting their bodies for “likes” on the internet. How did we get here? How did we go from being the gentler, more valuable and prized gender to being the bait… Luring men to hell with our bodies…..?

Read Proverbs 7 if you don’t believe me…

And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.) Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death. Proverbs 7:10-12, 25-27

Posing in a bra and underwear on Instagram doesn’t make you a “model”… it makes you look cheap and easy.  What you’re doing isn’t modeling. Models pose on a professional photo set to sell products for a company they get a check from. They get paid for modeling… they aren’t giving themselves away for free to random lurkers/stalkers/pedophiles. The psychology behind your behavior is simple: You’re suffering from a lack of self-esteem and are looking externally to make yourself feel good about you. But you’re kidding yourself. It’s called self-esteem because it emanates from the self. It comes from a place deep inside where you know you are a daughter of the living God, you know the price that was paid for you to be free from sin and filth- a price far above rubies. An immodestly dressed woman is giving away something that doesn’t belong to her. This principle of ownership means that you and I are not free to dress in any way we please. We’re accountable to God.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Let’s be clear… Any picture of a barely clothed girl will get lots of views online. You will attract lots of perverts to tell you how hot you are… Among other things. You showing yours doesn’t make you special. The “likes” and “shares” you get are not because they like you.  They like what you are giving them… they don’t care who you are.

I have brothers. I have friends. I have loved ones that I have to protect. I’ll choose respect.. Respect for myself and respect for those around me. I’ll choose not to show off parts of myself that every other girl has and can show off far too easily. I’ll choose to keep my secrets and not have them be a part of every dirty man’s sinful fantasies. I’m not ok with that.. And neither is God.

Guys, who are you giving away your eyes and mind to? Are you saving your eyes for the most beautiful girl you will ever lay eyes on– your wife? Or are you getting cheap thrills from every pic on the popular page? If you are, you are just as guilty.

“Here are some very important questions that I always ask young men: 1) Are you attracted to her biblical beauty – or are you attracted to her sensuality? Sensuality proceeds from a wicked heart {Mark 7:21-23}. Also, sensuality is a deed of the flesh {Galatians 5:19}. A woman can properly be called beautiful. A woman can properly be called elegant, but a woman who is sensual has an evil heart. I know many, many women who when you look at them, you would think to yourself: what a beautiful, refined, elegant lady. And honestly, as a man of God, that’s all you would think. And there are other women, young men, that do not carry half the physical beauty, that if you are a man of God and you see them walking through the church doors, you put your head down because of the sensuality coming out of their heart. Young men, you RUN from sensuality! Run from it because sensuality is just a public advertisement of the condition of the heart. Run from it! And young women…run from sensuality in men because it’s there, too. If ANYONE dresses or acts in any way so as to promote the frame of their body, it’s SENSUALITY.” – Paul Washer

If I determine to live my life for the glory of God—that will affect why I wear what I wear. It will make me think about how I present myself. Satan wants to strip you, make a fool of you, and merchandise your body, but your heavenly Father wants to clothe you with beauty, strength, dignity and honor that will endure. True beauty is internal and spiritual. We should be honoring God through the way we present ourselves. Our outward appearance is nothing but a reflection of an inward spirit. Is our reflection pure and submissive to Christ? Or is it self-serving and lustfully indulgent?

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 1 John 2:16

Ladies, you have the same body parts every other woman has. If that’s what you’re advertising with, you’re only going to attract a man looking for the cheapest price. Maybe all men aren’t poor, maybe you’ve just marked your prices too low. It’s YOU who tells people what your value is. Stop selling yourself so cheaply. If you really want to be treated like something of worth, get your goods off the clearance rack and place yourself behind the glass where they keep the valuables. Display a heart that will actually keep a man around… not a toy meant for one-time-use only.

If you are after attention there is plenty to be had, but if you want true beauty then you have to look at the big picture. Take a good look at yourself and the pictures you post. What kind of attention are you looking for? What kind of attention are you getting? What are you telling people about yourself? What are you telling people about your God? In 20 years, who will be around to give you your self-esteem if it all comes from Instagram? Choose respect. Choose beautiful.

As for me, I’ll take truly beautiful over “hot” any day, because that way, in 20 years I’ll still be beautiful. What’s your choice?

14

Ladies, you want a big, strong, great man?

I know I talk about modesty a lot. I do that because I want girls to see their worth is in their hearts instead of in their bodies. They don’t have to catch a man showing off parts of their bodies that are for their husbands eyes only. This is not because your body is bad or those parts of your body are bad. They aren’t at all. They are beautiful and sacred and special and when they are covered, it keeps them that way. The most precious of jewels aren’t for everyday wear. They aren’t even for everyone. Only the one who pays the highest price gets to own them, and even then, they are taken care of and prized and set apart. This is what your body is. It is only meant for your husband to see and treasure….

However, I never want my message to be confused with saying that we need to keep our bodies covered because men can not control themselves. They most certainly can. In this crazy sex-obsessed world, there are actually men who keep their minds clean and pure. [everyone put on your shocked faces] In all reality, God says it can be done, and it can.

To say or think or promote the idea that men can not control themselves is insulting and demeaning and destructive.

First, it is insulting to men. I am not a man, but I bet if someone was constantly saying that I, as a respectable human being, had animalistic tendencies and urges that just could not be fought, I would be slightly offended every now and then. Men are strong and brave and capable. Believe that, and stop letting the world make our men into children- or worse, animals.

Secondly, it is insulting to God. This applies to every area. Not just in the area of modesty. When God made man and woman, he actually set MAN up to be the head of the household. What in the world was He thinking? He obviously doesn’t understand that men can’t even control their own urges let alone control a home, a church, or community. Umm, I think God knew what He was doing. He actually gave us an entire book of great examples of what a strong man could be when yielded completely to Him. He gave us Moses and Joshua and King David and the Apostle Paul… And so many other strong brave [yet imperfect] men. Have we forgotten that all men can live up to what God expects of them? God didn’t. He believes in them…. and He knows what He is doing.

Lastly, it is destructive. When we have this attitude of “men can’t control themselves so we have to dress modestly and treat them like children and constantly beat them over the head with what they are supplied to be doing or what they are doing wrong,” well, we destroy everything God has made them to be. Of course, they are going to sit back and think… “Well I can’t control myself anyway. I am just like an animal. It’s their fault for not protecting me or dressing that way or not reminding me enough how to be a man. I might as well…..” Come on.

We need a generation of men. So how are we going to see this happen? We need to remind them of who they were meant to be. Men of honor, and courage, and purity, and bravery, and strength, and love. We need to see in them everything we believe GREAT men to be.

You want a big, strong, great man? Build them up. Tearing them down will only get you a small, weak, destroyed man.

I’m not saying throw off all your responsibility because they can handle it from here. I’m saying… Let’s turn it around. Trust the men in your life with being who they were called to be. Do YOUR part to build them up and encourage them. Draw out the greatness with words of encouragement and affirmation. Stop expecting so little of such great men. They can do it. Believe in them… expect and allow them to be MEN.

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Less is not More: Why I don’t wear a Bikini.

I have written so many posts about modesty. It is a big burden on my heart to educate girls about the power of modesty. Please take the time to watch this video by Jessica Rey, designer and owner of Rey Swimwear.

When girls think of the word “Modesty,” it is an automatic turn off for most of them. It’s an word that has been associated with “old-fashioned,” “frumpy,” and, let’s be honest, “boring.” So I want to start using a new term.. “discreet.” This term has what is truly meant behind what being “modest” in today’s age means. Discreet means “secretive,” “mysterious,” “classy,” and even “elegant.”

Being discreet is showing the world that you have parts of you that only a select group of people will ever get to see. You don’t have to show the world your body in order to show them your worth. Being discreet is knowing your worth is not in something as fleeting as your body… because, girls, it is gonna fade away. You are going to get old, you are going to gain weight, you are going to have babies, you are going to grow naturally and beautifully into old age. God would not give us a worth that fades away so easily.

Whenever God talks about giving someone worth, He talks about “clothing” them.

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. Proverbs 31:25 The Proverbs 31 woman is known by what she is clothed in, and her power and worth lies in her strength and honour.

“Make tunics, sashes and headbands for Aaron’s sons, to give them dignity and honor.  After you put these clothes on your brother Aaron and his sons, anoint and ordain them. Consecrate them so they may serve me as priests.” Exodus 28:40-41 God wants these garments to convey the honor and dignity of their position as priests.   People would see Aaron and his sons and recognize them by the garments they wore and give them honor and respect because of who they were—they were God’s priests.

God has given us garments of honor as well. “I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God.  For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.”  Isaiah 61:10

But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof. Romans 13:14 Paul tells us to clothe ourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ.  Jesus is the salvation of God and the only way to wear the salvation God offers is through Jesus.

You see, the Lord has bought us with a price and given us clothing of honor. An immodestly dressed woman is giving away something that does not belong to her. The principle of ownership means that you and I, as daughters of God, are not free to dress in any way we please. We’re accountable to God for what we do with our bodies and who we show our bodies to.

Matthew 5:28 says, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” That is not just the sin of a man. That is also a sin that we as women commit– the sin of adultery– when we allow men to look at our bodies, and commit adultery with us in their minds.

Okay, so if you don’t know how the male mind works, I will give you a quick lesson. This is true, ladies. Please understand this. A man is sexually “turned on” by the sight of a woman’s body. What it is like for a man to look at an immodestly dressed girl is like when a cute guy that you really really like came and put his arms around your waist. You would like that…. well, it is the same for a guy, but they can take it even further in their minds. God gave them an incredible imagination when it comes to a woman’s body and sex. And if that guy does not have the holy spirit inside of him and if he doesn’t long to do the right thing, he will commit adultery with you in his mind. Period. Now, this ability is not necessarily a evil, bad thing. That is how God created men. He did that so that they would be the pursuers in relationships– so that they would be driven to go out and find a girl and marry her and fulfill those desires within marriage and raise godly families. Sin has just corrupted God’s plan, and the world today has waged war on the minds of these men. You see?

This is why God wants to clothe us with honor– to protect the men around us from committing sin and to ultimately protect us. Godly men want a woman who will not cause him to commit adultery with her in his mind. He wants a woman who is “mysterious” and “sacred” and “discreet.” He wants a woman he can “win” with inside of marriage alone.

God doesn’t want to cover up all our beauty so that we never get married and we sit at home alone dateless and ugly. He has set up this system because He created us and He knows how our minds and bodies work. He has done it to protect our purity and for men to look at us with honor. He has “clothed” us for our own good.

It is the enemy who wants to strip you, make sport of you, and merchandise everything that is sacred. He wants to take away your God-given worth, strength, honor, and mystery and, instead, shame you in front of the world. The video I posted above states that the study at Princeton University claimed that men associate women in bikinis with tool use. Something they USE to get a job done. Yikes. There have also been studies done that have shown that the male brain stores perceived “sexual encounters” in the same way that it stores actual sexual encounters. I guess God is right after all. That is not what God intended for his daughters, and that is not something we should want for ourselves.

So what do I wear to the beach? No, I don’t wear a “bathing costume.” lol There are lots of cute one piece bathing suits that I have found and I pair them with cute shorts. I will not let any man other than my husband see me in my underwear. I may look a whole lot more dressed than the other girls at the beach, but I would rather look cute and covered than have the men around me thinking about me in a sexual way and allowing them to commit adultery with me in their minds.

The point of this post was not to bash girls who wear bikinis. It was to simply inform you of the facts– of God’s purposes and of the enemy’s purposes and of how a man’s mind really works. Now that you know and understand, you are responsible to act on this information. My prayer is that you really think twice about who you are trying to please when you wear that bikini to the beach or post pictures of yourself in it on the internet. 

Discreet, ladies. That is so much more attractive to the men we really want to catch. Men who actually want to get married and raise godly homes. Isn’t that what we want for ourselves? Then let’s stop being fooled by the enemy. Let’s take back the power that the world and the devil have taken from us. If we are truly living our lives for the glory of God, then it will determine why I wear what I wear. It will make me think twice before I give something away that is not mine to give. My Savior has clothed in me in salvation, strength, and honor, and I will not cheapen myself to be stripped and made sport of — not even at the beach.

To check out more of my posts on “Modesty” CLICK HERE

And don’t forget to check out my “Fashion Friday” section CLICK HERE

 

6

The Heart of the Modesty Issue

I have written about modesty before. I have written about why we need to modest in “Men are Pigs?” I have written about why Jesus expects us to be modest in “Jesus Doesn’t Care What I Wear.” But….where does modesty start? What is it all about? What does modesty really mean?

It is not just about clothing. It is about the heart.

John MacArthur put it like this, “How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or, is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty, or worse to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and her appearance.”

Paul Washer says this,

“Modesty is rarely seen in this generation of Christians. Many who claim Christ are as uncovered, lewd, and brazen as the world. This is going to make you mad, and I’m talking to boys and girls. Radical Christians are those who do not dress sensually in order to show off their bodies. If your clothing is a frame for your face, God is pleased with your clothing. If your clothing is a frame for your body, it’s sensual and God HATES what you’re doing.

I do not so much have to pray up when I’m preaching under a tent in inner-city San Antonio, but I have to pray up and know that I am walking with the Lord when I walk into an average Baptist church because of the way most people dress. And you say, “It’s legalism.” No it’s not. They’re commands in the Bible. It doesn’t say we’re all supposed to dress like a Puritan, but it does say we’re supposed to be decent and cause no offense or stumbling. “Well you can’t judge a book by its cover.” Yes you can! Jesus said you can; by their fruits you will know them.

Here are some very important questions that I always ask young men. Are you attracted to her biblical beauty or are you attracted to her sensuality? Sensuality proceeds from a wicked heart. In Mark 7:21-23 For from within, out of the heart of men proceed the evil thoughts, fornication, thefts, murders, adultery, deeds of covetousness, wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, evil, slander pride and foolishness. Also sensuality is a deed of the flesh. Galatians 5:19 The deeds of the flesh are evident which are immorality, impurity, sensuality.

A woman can properly be called beautiful. A women can properly be called elegant. But a woman who is sensual has an evil heart.”

See if we as women get dressed to draw attention to ourselves in a sensual way or to be a distraction to others focusing on God, then we are wrong.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

1 Samuel 16:7 says …”for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”

“So how do I know if I am dressing modestly?”

Check your heart. How is your spirit? What is your intent? Why are you dressed the way you are dressed? What is your goal? Are you going to do everything you can to draw everyone’s attention to God or are you trying to draw there attention to you?

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting of the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 1 Peter 3:3-4

That does not mean that we are to have NO personality, and we are supposed keep our heads down and not speak to people. That would be the opposite of honoring to God. It simply means that we are to adorn ourselves on the inside and place value on that above all else. We are to have a graceful, selfless attitude so that we do not draw vain attention to ourselves so that others will constantly see the beauty of Jesus Christ in our lives, and speech, and actions. It is possible to have a friendly, outgoing personality AND the gentle, selfless spirit that God considers of great price.

She maketh herself coverings of tapestry, and her clothing is silk and purple. Proverbs 31:22

This is the proverbs 31 woman. This girl takes care of herself, and presents herself with grace and dignity for her Lord. She does not neglect her appearance in the name of “spirituality,” nor does she draw attention to herself with her body. She possesses the graceful femininity that God has cultivated inside of her, and dresses accordingly to bring glory and honor to Jesus Christ. We can literally get up, get dressed, put our makeup on to the glory of the Lord, and to present ourselves with grace and dignity to others in His name.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. 1 Timothy 2:9-10

This is why God says, don’t let your beauty defined by your clothing or your jewelry or the way you do your hair, but in everything you do, point people to Jesus Christ– not yourself.

Be honest with yourselves. Don’t deceive yourselves because the God you claim to love and serve has asked you to have this attitude. Yes, modesty is an attitude that begins in our heart. One that seeks to bring attention to God… and not you.

God does not mean we should not wear gold or braid our hair or wear nice clothing, but he does mean we should not make the outward appearance the preoccupation of our adornment. We need to consider our inward adornment and the inward adornment of others to be of great price– far more than rubies. This is how we become godly women, and women who exult God.

True beauty seeks to draw attention to Jesus Christ above all in everything she does and in everything she puts on. She knows that what she wears is an accurate expression of what is in her heart.

As Christian women, what we wear must flow from an understanding that we bear the image of our Creator who created beauty; that we are redeemed sinners living in a fallen world; that we are servants who need to be ready to do the will of God to his honor and glory. Modesty is an attitude of the heart that seeks to give glory to God, serve others, and put self to death. Its most visible expression is what we wear.

Especially in church, ladies. It is so sad that Christian men can not come to our churches and be safe from distraction away from the Lord. When you go to your wedding, you can dress like the center of attention- the bride. Church, however, is the time for worship, humility, meekness, a broken and contrite spirit, and a time for confessing sin. It is about God, not you. If you take that spirit away front the church service knowingly, God will not hold you guiltless. You will answer for it all.

Ladies, it all starts with the heart. What does the Bible mean when it talks about “shamefacedness” and godly fear? Well, just that. It means shame.

Am I ashamed to be a woman?
Am I ashamed of my clothes?
Am I ashamed of my husband?
Am I ashamed of my hair?

No.

I am ashamed if I in any way would ever contribute to someones else’s evil thought, lustful thought, thought of illicit desire, or that I should distract anyone from proper worship of God. It is that kind of shame. Any woman with a proper sense of shame will dress in such a way as not to be alluring and not to be the source of temptation. She will be sensitive to this kind of sin, and reject anything that is immoral or dishonorable to God. She will be so broken over this kind of sin that she would never come close to doing anything that offends God or generates a sinful attitude in another person’s mind.

This ought to be the attitude of every Christian woman. No desire beyond what is honorable to God and her husband. {even if she does not have one yet} No desire to flaunt her sensuality, but a sense of shame that fits true modesty and faithfulness to her husband. Even and especially for a single woman that same modesty, that same beauty of godly character should become the most attractive thing about her.

C.J. Mahaney describes immodesty this way, “Immodesty, then, is much more than wearing a short skirt or a low-cut top; it’s the act of drawing undue attention to yourself. It’s pride on display by what you wear.”

Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet: Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover their secret parts. In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments about their feet, and their cauls, and their round tires like the moon, The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers, The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the earrings, The rings, and nose jewels, The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping pins, The glasses, and the fine linen, and the hoods, and the vails. And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty. Isaiah 3:16-24

The women who are haughty, the women who are lustful, the women who draw attention the themselves for their own evil intent and purpose will be judged. This is the word of God. To adorn ourselves in nice clothing is not evil, but to over do it, to adorn for the sake of lust and flaunt ourselves and draw sensual attention to ourselves is evil, and particularly so among the congregation of the saved.

Let’s examine ourselves, and make sure that what we wear is an accurate expression of what is in our hearts, and let our hearts be broken before God, and fear his judgement, and seek to express our love for him in obedience to his word.

Let us have pure hearts and clean hands. Let us be women who are marked by self-control and godly fear whose lives are a testimony to Jesus Christ and not a reproach. Let us make sure that we are telling people of the beauty of Jesus Christ by our attitude of modesty. Let us be women who walk in true beauty and grace, and let us seek what the Lord would have us seek as godly women- to do all to the glory of our Lord and Savior.

And, girls, let’s not just talk about it or think about it or agree….. C’mon, let’s do it.

9

Spoil Yourself.

Since when did girls have to compete for a man’s attention?? Since when were WE the pursuers instead of the pursued?? Since when did we have to try to look better than the girl next to us and reveal our bodies to catch a man’s eye?? Since when is this ok?

Ok, call me old-fashioned, but back in the good ol’ days, a man pursued a woman. He saw a girl He liked, took the chance and got to know what was inside of her, and spent his time, energy, and money winning her heart. The girl did NOT hand out her heart to any man that walked by. A girl’s heart was an expensive gift.

Girls, I just do not understand why we think that we place any value on our hearts when we shove our selves at these boys. Not to mention shoving our bodies in their faces. If a girl flaunts herself in front of the man you love, there are definitely action you will take to remove them from that situation, no? If you care anything about the guys around you a little more than you care about yourself and your “self-esteem” being fed, then you will keep yourself covered. It just baffles me that women can cheapen themselves to sex objects, and then claim that {Men Are Pigs}. Girls go to the beach with little more or less than their underwear on and wonder why disgusting men gawk at them? Stop complaining about not being able to find a good man if you are chasing all the wrong ones. We have to take responsibility for our own stuff.

We girls have so much more power than many of us realize.

Men want women. They do. God made them that way. You do not have to throw yourself at them. That’s so tired. Any self-respecting man finds that repulsive, honestly. What is really attractive to a good man is a girl who is smart, and confident in who she is. A girl who does not show her body to every pig at the park, but saves it for her husband’s eyes only. Someone with DIGNITY who seeks to be like her Lord and Savior. I’m well aware of how different this will make you than the rest of the world. Isn’t that what God calls us to– to be set apart from the world to seek better things from the hand of God?  {Jesus cares so deeply about how His daughters are presented.} Oh, please, please don’t be like the rest of them when our Jesus calls us to so much more.

“He does not want a girl who trifles with Christianity. He wants a woman who is radically given to Christ. He does not want a girl who prays tepid, lukewarm prayers. He wants a woman who lives in defiance of the powers of Hell. He does not want a girl who is self-adorning with the latest fashions and trends. He wants a woman who is adorned with the inner jewelry of Christ-given holiness. He does not want a girl who dishonors and belittles her parents. He wants a woman who honors the authorities God has placed in her life and serves them with charity and gladness. He does not want a girl whose Bible is an accessory to her wardrobe. He wants a woman whose hunger and thirst is to know the Lord, and who diligently feasts upon His Word. He does not want a girl whose tongue is a deceptive weapon of selfishness. He wants a woman whose words drip with the honey of the name of Jesus.” ― Leslie Ludy

What’s more is instead of celebrating our femininity, so often we cut each other down and give dirty looks to anyone prettier than us…. Since when is life a competition?? There are always going to be someone prettier than you. We need to learn to love each other and help our sisters in Christ grow in beauty and grace in Jesus instead of buying the cheap lies of the world.

How pretty your face is matters so little in comparison to how pretty your heart is. Believe that. Life is not a beauty pageant, and competition is not in God’s plan for His daughters.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

“The New Testament describes the characteristics of a “virtuous widow” who is qualified to receive help from believers. This woman’s description seems to parallel the miraculous, poured-out life portrayed by the Proverbs 31 woman. She does not live for her own pleasure but is well reported for good works, bringing up children, lodging strangers, washing the saints’ feet, relieving the afflicted, and diligently following every good work. How does she accomplish all of this? “She trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day” (1 Timothy 5:5-6,10). She lives a supernatural existence, accomplishing incredible things without stress and exhaustion because she makes prayer the foundation of her life.” -Leslie Ludy

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25

Do you really love Jesus with all of your heart? You want God’s BEST? It will cost you. It will cost you more than your vanity, but it pays better rewards every time. You want a good man? Don’t throw yourself at him. Don’t pursue bad guys. You have to stop chasing the bad boys, and give the good men a chance to chase you. Dignity costs alot, have expensive taste, and, please, spoil yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

4

The truth about beauty.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

We long to be beautiful, don’t we?

There is nothing wrong in looking your best, but you can try in vain to make your beauty in your face, hair, and body….or you can come sit at the feet of the Author of beauty.

We all know people who are so very beautiful on the outside. However, that is where all of their beauty lies. Because their heart is ugly, mean, and empty. How does that change their outward beauty in your eyes?

There is nothing more beautiful than a girl who is in love with Jesus, and lets His beauty shine in her life. Jesus is so beautiful, and I have never seen His face. Everything that He is. Everything He has done for us. Every single promise. Girls, we have the opportunity to embrace this beauty, and broadcast it to the world.

Think of a small clay pot filled with dirt. There is nothing beautiful about looking at a pot of dirt. Even if that dirt has a tiny seed inside, we can not see it. It is hidden. However, when that seed is watered, and given sunlight, and cultivated, and given attention, a small plant will begin to grow. The more attention we give this little seed the larger and more beautiful the plant will grow, and soon, this pot of dirt becomes something else to look at. Something special. Something beautiful.

We, in and of ourselves, are nothing special to look at. Who wants to look at simply a pot of dirt? However, when we have Jesus, we have something pretty special. We have something to cultivate– a beauty that is not our own. The more attention we give to Him, the more we can grow something of value inside of us. And soon, the people that look at us will no longer focus on a pot of dirt. In fact, the pot of dirt may go completely unnoticed, but not the flower. Jesus will become beauty inside of us. True, loving beauty from its very Author.

True beauty emanates from a woman who boldly and unabashedly knows who she is in Christ. She clings to God’s promises for her life and believes them as the most important thing about her.

I want my life to showcase, not my own small cup of dirt, but beautiful Jesus who lives inside of me. He is the one who needs to shine the brightest. He is the one who really needs to be seen. Fear the Lord. Stay close to His side.

“A woman who fears the Lord will not run away from God to satisfy her longings and relieve her anxieties. She will wait for the Lord. She will hope in God. She will stay close to the heart of God and trust in his promises. The prospect of departing into the way of sin will be too fearful to pursue; and the benefits of abiding in the shadow of the Almighty too glorious to forsake.” -John Piper

We have no worth apart from Him.  The world says “You have to love yourself before you can love others.” But, “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” Matthew 22:37-39

The secret of life is NOT to fall in love with yourself. I don’t think we have much of a problem putting ourselves first. The secret is to fall in love with Jesus. Let His love fill your heart, and then we can put others needs first and love them like Jesus did. This is the secret to having a beautiful heart. Only when He is our everything can His beauty be a trademark of our lives.

“Any human beauty, any human value that we might find within ourselves is just a filthy rag compared to the limitless beauty and glory of Jesus Christ. Christ’s beauty is perfect.  And, in spite of what we deserve, He desires to adorn us with His spectacular glory.  It is not our unique beauty that must shine for this world to see.  It is not our own beauty that we must discover and embrace – it is His. True beauty is the natural byproduct of a young woman who has emptied herself, given up her own life, and allowed God’s Spirit complete access to every dimension of her inner and outer life.” -Leslie Ludy

So, guess what. We are special because of Jesus. He IS beauty inside of us. Without Him, we would be just as lost as anyone else. Why would we not cling to Him? Why would we not cultivate the only thing that sets us apart from the world? Our relationship with Jesus. Anything we could muster up of ourselves that is “good” is really filthy rags in the eyes of God. (Isaiah 64:6) And will long fade away in the eyes of the world as well.  Leslie Ludy also said, “If we rely on something that we possess to make us beautiful, we cannot receive the transforming beauty of Jesus Christ. Discovering true feminine beauty is exchanging all that we are for all that He is.”

Charles Spurgeon said, “If a soul has any beauty, it is because Christ has endowed that soul with His own, for in ourselves we are deformed and defiled!  There is no beauty in any of us but what our Lord has worked in us.”

Girls, we desperately need to realize the value of true beauty. The world desperately needs to see Christ, and we have a desperately important role to showcase to the world, not our own beauty, but His!

16

Jesus doesn’t care what I wear.

So after reading my last post {Men are pigs? one for the girls} (if you haven’t read it, check that one out first!) you might think, “But… God is more concerned with my heart. Christians are superficial, old-fashioned, and ‘modesty’ is way outdated. Jesus doesn’t really care what I have on my outside as long as I love Him. He only cares about my inside.”

Wrong.

Jesus has told us that our beauty is on the inside when He said,

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; let it be the hidden man of the heart. 1 Peter 3:3

He was saying don’t find your worth in outward things; not throw all caution to the wind and wear whatever you want. Girls, think about your father. If you walked by your dad on your way out of the house with a tiny revealing outfit on, what would he say? What has he said or done? A good father would probably say, “Um, I don’t think so. You can go right back to your room and change… and I hope you left the tags on that outfit because it’s going back to the store.” If our earthly fathers care so much about what we reveal to other men, how much more does our Holy, Heavenly Father care? He cares. He cares a lot how men look at and treat His daughters, and He wants His daughters to do everything in their power to keep themselves pure for His sake and for ours.

See, if we want to be everything we are made to be for Christ, then we have to not only be above par, but we have to measure up to the standards set out for us in the Bible. Otherwise, why would Jesus want us to represent Him? If a business is going to send an employee to a meeting with a prospective client, they are going to make sure this employee exemplifies everything the company stands for. They are not going to pick the girl with the questionable wardrobe to be the representative face of the organization. They just aren’t; that would just be embarrassing to the company. Girls, Jesus wants us to be a picture of His grace and holiness on this earth so that other people come to know Him. That’s a big job, and, believe me, God cares what you are wearing when you represent Him.

God also has a lot to say about women who bait men with sexual ways and promises in Proverbs. Have we forgotten?

To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. For by means of a whorish woman is a man brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Proverbs 7:24-26

And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of a harlot, and subtle of heart. (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lithe in wait at every corner.)….. With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattery of her lips she forced him. He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks; till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death. Proverbs 8:10-12, 21-23, 27

It will cost him his life.

Yikes. This is not an exaggeration. You can literally destroy lives.. your own life and the lives of the men around you. This girl is dangerous, not to mention creepy, and is destroying lives. We can’t love our brothers in Christ and simultaneously destroy their lives. That should scare us, and literally make us sick to our stomachs. Clearly, our Jesus cares. He cares about us, and he cares about guys. I, for one, do NOT want to be the girl in those verses.

Jesus wants the very best for His daughters.

A far cry from the virtuous woman, this proverbs woman baits and hooks men with her “attire of a harlot” and “much fair speech.” You get what you fish for. If you are “baiting” men with your body, then the only men you are going to catch are the men who want your body. Plain and simple. However, if you want a guy who loves you for your heart, you’re going to have to catch a man with your heart. He has to be able to stay around you long enough to see it. You want a man with a good heart? Show him a good heart, not your physical “goods.”

How you get him is how you keep him. We’ve heard that before. So say you find a man, and he commits to you and marries you; but the main feature that caught him was your body and physical appearance…. what happens when you get pregnant? When you gain weight? When you start to get older and less attractive? If he did not find your inside to be the most attractive thing about you, what’s going to happen when something better comes along? It would be so sad to be in a relationship with a man who only liked you for what you gave him sexually; and, as you aged, thought you were boring, unattractive, or unlovely. There will always be girls prettier than you and willing to show more, and sexual competition is not what God has in mind for his daughters. However, this is where we are headed when we attract men based on our physical appearances alone. Heartache, and don’t you think it breaks Jesus’ heart too? I want my future husband to love me for my personality, my sense of humor, my brain, and courage, and all the weird quirky things that I do, and, mostly, my love for God… and have eyes only for me.

Lastly, I want to encourage you in that next time you see a girl with a sexually revealing outfit on, don’t judge her in your heart. Have compassion instead. It breaks my heart to see and know that some girls don’t know that they do not have to show off their bodies to be worth something. That they are so much more than what their body looks like, and how men respond to seeing it. It is so sad. Pray for her. If you know her, talk to her or show her these posts! Help her see that Jesus made her beautiful heart for Him, and she deserves to expect more too.

Girls, if we want our relationships to be everything we really long for and God promised to us, we can’t settle for the cheap version that the world offers us. We have to ask for something more. If we want to be everything God has made us to be as representatives of Jesus Christ and the gospel, we need to clothe ourselves with the respect and holiness that our message demands. We’ve just got to expect more because the Jesus we love does care about our clothes and how His daughters present themselves….and He definitely expects more of us.

 

32

Men are pigs? one for the girls….

Let me preface this by saying, I am a girl. I don’t know what it is like to be a guy. I can talk to guys about it, read books and internet articles, but, unfortunately, I will never truly know what happens to a guy in a relationship or what goes through their minds. Furthermore, I do not believe that every guy is the same, just as every girl is not the same. I can only address what I see as problems with our generation from the female perspective. And since I am a girl, that is where I will start. Because, I truly believe that if we want things to change, and we want to start having successful relationships, we have to start with ourselves. We girls need to work together, and I think that it’s time that we start to expect more.

Exposed valuables always attract greedy thieves and crooks. -Ben Sebrell

This issue is touchy, but one that desperately needs to be addressed. “Clothing makes the man…” or, in our case, the woman. Ok girls, yes, SOME men are just pigs, and they are completely responsible for their actions, but did we ever stop to consider why we attract these men? Why men are allowed to be this way? That maybe, possibly, the problem starts with us, and how we present ourselves? It could, at the very least, be minimized by us…

I really believe the problem lies in our expectations, and, girls, it’s not that they are too high. What do we really expect out of the person we are dating, out of the relationship, and out of ourselves? What are we willing to do for or put up with for “love”?

This world is constantly telling us we need to be “sexy.” Every television show, commercial, magazine, and advertisement tells us this. That our only worth comes from what we are in the eyes of the opposite sex. If men think you are beautiful, and check you out at the mall, and ask you for your number or out to dinner, THEN, you are pretty special. If you have a man on your arm and by your side, then you are worthy of love. And if not? Well, then you are ugly, fat, and unworthy of love. Harsh, I know, but every single girl has thought that about herself at one point or another.

We push, and push, and push the message that real beauty and worth comes from the inside and that every girl is beautiful in her own way. This message is wonderful, and completely true, but if we don’t live what we preach then it means nothing. Instead, we lower our standards in the way we dress to attract these men who do not appreciate who we are on the inside. If we do not act and dress as though we are special, and beautiful, and worthy of love and respect, we will not be treated as though we are. We need to start backing up our message with the way we live, and they way we conduct ourselves in our relationships because we are WORTH more.

So why do we put ourselves through this when we know in our heads that “real beauty is on the inside”? Why? Because we would rather believe the lies of the world, and the lies of Satan. We may not consciously make that decision, but every time we put ourselves down, or start to feel worthless, or post a sexual and provocative picture on Facebook, we are choosing to believe a lie of Satan over what God has already told us. That our beauty and worth come solely from Jesus Christ’s presence in our heart and lives. So, instead of addressing our heart issue, we find and wear the most provocative clothing we can get away with. Then, we blame the men in our lives for only wanting us for our bodies, or looking at us in ways that make us uncomfortable… when we are blatantly putting ourselves out on display! Girls, if YOU put it out there, then, sorry, but it’s fair game.

You are in complete control of how men look at you. Expect more.

..from yourself, first, and then the men around you. You literally teach them what body parts they are allowed to gawk at by the way you dress; especially, to guys that have no self-control. We have only a small idea what it is like to have to be a guy, and how hard it is to control what goes through their heads. They are going to look at what you show them, bottom line… or struggle NOT to. That is not what we should be to our brothers in Christ, and we certainly are not going to attract the good guys this way. How can we expect to find a good guy who loves us for our hearts, when we shove our bodies in his face? When they find it hard to even look at us without compromising their thought life, let alone spend time in getting to know what is inside of us? When the truly good guys don’t want to be around us because of what we make them struggle with?

The way you dress either demands respect or invites disrespect. There is no middle ground. So often, we feel as though men don’t just deserve our respect; they have to earn it. Even when it comes to dress, it is easier for us to look at a man in a suit, and hold him in high regard right away simply because of the way he presents himself. It is not any different for women.

I am completely a girl, and I love to look pretty, and cute, and beautiful, but this can definitely be done in a classy, respectful way, keeping in mind the men around you and how you want them to think about you. I don’t dress like a frump, and neither should you! But the way most girls dress and present themselves (especially on social media sites) just does not send the message that they respect themselves and know their inner worth. Girls, good men WILL notice when you do dress in a way that honors God and respects yourself. You don’t even have to say anything. You will not attract the men who only want to see your body, that’s for sure, but is that not what we are sick of anyway?

I am not saying that men are not responsible for what they look at or think…they most certainly are and will answer to God for it, but we girls are a big problem in this area in which we beg for a solution. We need to take responsibility for what we display. Because no matter how strong a guy is spiritually, he is still a guy. God made men this way, and not on accident. God had a plan for men to be the pursuers in the relationship…. to WIN the girl’s heart; not her body. Then, after he wins her heart and commits to her, aka marriage, then he gets her body. He is just not going to commit to you if he has nothing to win because you have already given to him.

I’m also not saying that this will stop every man from treating every woman with disrespect, but it is a safeguard against it, and an area where we desperately need to take action. The fact of the matter is we CAN control how we are to be treated, and we are responsible in this area. If we want to be “wanted” for our bodies, then that is a heart issue. However, I’m pretty sure that every girl wants to be loved for everything that is inside of her that is beautiful, not just our physical. In order for this to happen, we need to stand up for ourselves. We need to start expecting more out of the way we dress. Expecting more out of ourselves, so that we can expect more out of the men around us. Let’s raise the bar together, girls. We all need to do our part so that men will figure out how we want to be treated, because of the way we treat ourselves. Together, we will start attracting the good men, and the kind of attention we get because we are beautiful on the inside. Because Jesus Christ calls you more special than what we so often think, let’s live up to His standards.