Dear Single Girl,

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Many of you have only just started following me in the recent weeks, or months or even in the past year, so you know that I am happily married. Yes, I have probably turned into that girl who posts too many pictures of her and her husband. You know the ones that make you roll your eyes, but also wish for the same for yourself? I know…. because I have been there. Looking at other relationships, and feeling lonely or sad or even just plain sorry for myself. Maybe you have no idea the archives on this very blog are filled with posts of a single girl patiently (and not-so-patiently) waiting on her forever love.

See, I didn’t get married young, although I always thought I would. I thought I would go to college, and find a guy, and get married right away… that was my plan. However, it was not my God’s plan. God’s plan was for me to wait, and wait a lot longer than I ever thought or wanted, and I started this blog in that season of waiting.

Today, I want to go back there with you to just encourage your heart, because it is so easy for me to remember how it felt to be in your shoes, and how just a few words of encouragement, that maybe you didn’t even want to admit that you needed, made all the difference some days.

First of all, while the world is bombarding you with mixed messages, you have to stay grounded in the truth. From “You’re nothing without a man” and “#relationshipgoals” to “You are a fierce single lady and the world is your playground so kick every man to the curb and stay focused on YOU, darling,” it is hard to know where you fit in. Even if you did know where you fit, what are you supposed to do about it? How are you supposed to feel when everyone around you is in a relationship, getting married, or having kids?

Well, the truth is everyone’s story is different.

Every single one of your friends might get married and have 3 or 4 kids (like most of mine did) before you even start a meaningful relationship. And guess what? That’s okay. I know you’re thinking, No it isn’t. YES it is! It is okay because your story, God’s plan for your life, is different from theirs. Don’t waste time rebelling against what God has in store for your life. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will become grateful for every day that you are living out His plan, even if it doesn’t include a man.

You’re thinking, so you’re saying to “enjoy my single years” listening to Adele and eating ice cream all by myself. Well, yes. How? You have to have an unwavering seed of faith even on the hard days when you’re lonely and you cry to Adele in your car, that God loves you, and He has a plan that you just don’t understand yet. Yes, it is possible to wish and hope and pray for your future husband without letting it affect your overall lifestyle. I prayed and struggled, you can read it all here on my blog, but I didn’t walk around in a puddle of sadness all the time. I went out and did things and had fun and I did enjoy my single years, and looking back I know it was God’s plan for me and I’m so thankful that everything happened the way it did, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was hard. I won’t pretend that it was.

I use this weird analogy all the time.

Being single is like having a baby. {Ok I know it sounds weird but hear me out.} Have you ever heard a mother talk about her labor and delivery? Yes it was awful. Yes it was terrifying, and gruesome, and more painful than the human mind can comprehend {that may just be my interpretation} but would they do it again? Yes. No question. And many of them do! Thank The Lord or most of us wouldn’t be here today. Well, being single isn’t all that bad lol but sometimes it’s lonely, and hard, and discouraging and disappointing……. But then you meet them. You fall in love, and you kinda forget how awful it was to be single. Why? Because all of it was just….. Worth it. All the waiting and lonely nights and teary hopeful prayers all seem to fade away because God has made everything perfect in His time.

Because one day, Michael walked into my life, and it has never been the same. And I know that the same will happen to you, and you’ll get married and face new and exciting challenges together. I can tell you it’s going to be okay, and remind you every day of the plan of God for your life, or you can let your faith in God’s timing and His goodness and His faithfulness and His love be your wings for this season. You can bury in your heart the promise that if you surrender your heart to His plan, the desires that He has placed in your heart will come to pass. You can believe for yourself that even on the not so easy days, (when you aren’t feeling like a fierce single woman who doesn’t need no man) that your prince will come, and you will get your happily ever after.

And, for those days too, you have a friend here who knows what’s up…. take a look around here, and read some more posts about my thoughts and feelings as a single girl just like you.

Til next time, chin up, beautiful. xo

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29 thoughts on “Dear Single Girl,

  1. Thank you so much this really helped me. I am newly single as I just went though a rough breakup. Your blog posts are always amazing!! xx

  2. I liked your post! Sometimes I feel very lonely, like yesterday, when my mother gave me two concert tickets and told me to invite my future boyfriend. I don’t have any :(
    I think, however, that we should learn to trust God and his plans, even if they don’t include marriage. In the end, marriage is temporary, it’s just for this life.

  3. Thank you for sharing! I needed this. I’m in my last year at bible college and let me tell you – it has been a struggle to be single. The line about how being dissatisfied with God’s plan for your life is rebellion really impacted me. Thank you for calling me out and reminding me of my need to offer thanksgiving for everything.

  4. You have one of the best blogs lauren and I won’t ever stop saying it lol I was just having one of my “lonely only single girl the world” moments and was thinking after I prayed you know what I need to check thefull time girl page out, it’s been a while! So I was so happy to see you in my inbox this morning. Thank you ♡

  5. Thank you so much for your posts. I have been following you for a while now. I have been encouraged, moved to tears, and blessed many times when reading your blog. I am a single woman who has her good and not so good days at being single. But I know the Lord has a plan, he has revealed tiny little crumbs as I have been growing in his word. I know that I have some healing to do (which He’s working on!). Also, I see that He is growing me into the Godly woman that my {future} husband needs. I have had my tough days, but recently I have been having more and more good single days, in the midst of a hard season, and I know that He is teaching me about relationships through it all. God, through you, has been making a big impact on my life in being content and enjoying my single years. I want to thank you so much for listening to God when He told you to write that first blog and keep going with it. You have blessed me tremendously! God bless you and your husband!

  6. Thank you so much Lauren! I cannot tell you how much you’ve encouraged me throughout the past several years that I’ve read your blog.

  7. Wow… this post was uploaded on the worst and loneliest night of the week: Saturday. Thank you. <3 I mean it, thank you. Thank you for NOT being shallow, and for being a woman who talks with God everyday.

  8. ”All the waiting and lonely nights and teary hopeful prayers all seem to fade away because God has made everything perfect in His time” now this got me smiling and praising God!may God help us to wait patiently on Him,for He is super faithful✌

  9. Thank you very much for this post! It’s a very real struggle for me right now. I had always hoped to marry young and have any where from 12 to 20 kids! 😀 But here I am, single, about to turn 26, a younger brother just got married last month and another younger brother is getting married next month….. While I am incredibly happy for them and LOVE the girls they chose, it’s very hard for me not to do the “why not me? What and I doing wrong?” I’m not doing and any thing wrong, it’s just God has a different plan for me. Although at times I really wish God would hurry things up please, I’m still SO grateful that God has our destiny all figured and has the perfect plan for each of us. Cause He sees how things will be in the future and knows when it is the perfect time for each event in our lives. We just see the here and now.

    • I know what you mean! My younger sister and I just went through devastating breakups last year. Her relationship was longer than mine, but mine ended in engagement. I’ve had the best time healing and being able to be single with her, but she recently met a great guy and my family is all excited about it too. I actually like him this time too haha (the others weren’t so great 😉 I struggle not feeling forgotten by the Lord, and also choosing to be joyful for her sake when in my heart I just don’t like not doing things first since I’m oldest!! Oh pride why?! God knows and understands. One day at a time!

    • Funny you commented on the day after I have commented and I was also about to turn 26 on the 15 December 2015 and I am also still single and hoping for nothing but the best from God in His time! Yes it’s not easy but it’s so worth it!❤❤❤

  10. Gracias por tu artículo muy bueno !!! Por alentarnos a esperar por el joven correcto. Tu artículo esta como anillo al dedo es lo q la mayoría de mis amigas estamos viviendo en la actualida. Demasiada presión social por q no tenemos un novio, a veces resulta frustrante.
    Pero la ESPERA en Dios Valdrá la Bendición!!

  11. Although your post is mostly directed to the female audience, I love reading your blog, Lauren. And yes I’m a guy. There are many days when I struggle with my singleness after the heartbreak that I had in the summer. I have only grown frustrated and in some days I even have tried to answer my own prayers. But I know God has someone special for me. I didn’t start believing this until I gave Him fully control of my love life. That’s when I realized that a time of singleness is not so bad at all, I have the chance to focus on my college career, work longer hours to pay for my school, and allow Jesus to enter my heart because change starts through Him. So far, it’s awesome. Thank you for this post :)

  12. Thanks a lot for all the encouragement. I need it much. Very timely!
    Thanks for praying for us (who are experiencing this kind of feeling). :)

  13. Thank you, Lauren, for being sensitive to single girls after you’re married and challenging us to stay strong. It’s a blessing to read encouraging words like this from a fellow blogger. ~ Kristen at ThinkTrueThoughts.com

  14. Wow! Can we just be best friends? I’ve wrestled with this all semester and SO needed to read it today. I needed someone on my side and it has take a load off reading your posts, especially this one. Thank you for being super empathetic toward single women instead acting like you have a higher power in marriage. I never want to make someone feel left out when I’m married and they’re not. I just cannot say enough. I hope God uses me in this exact same way one day. I love it so much. You’re basically the bomb right now!

  15. One of the powerful points you said that I will now take to heart:
    “Don’t waste time rebelling against what God has in store for your life.”
    Love love love, and thank you for sharing your heart and experience to women, Lauren. You’re a true blessing.

  16. Thank you Lauren. I’m really struggling right now about the sometimes lack of love and respect with my relationship with my mom, lack or christian friends and feel I never will have the support I NEED not want, and turning 30 in April 2016 and still single, been single for years now (I won’t tell you how many years lol) long enough to feel forgotten. Saying all this I am grateful for the good things in my life no 1 being my health and God’s grace and forgiveness of sins etc. Lately I have been struggling I’m on a choir we have done very well we have had tv exposure but lately I feel like Iv’e had to protect myself spiritually as there have been a lot of indirect insults hurled at me and some of them ignoring me. So if you could pray if God wants me to leave that would be great. Really struggling with quite a lot at the moment and I feel my faith is vanishing rapidly unfortunately.

  17. I’m encouraged big sis, God is forever faithful even when I am tempted to lose patience in His timing and will for my life,I will keep waiting because I know it will be worth it …Thank you

  18. This article is a blessing! Thank you very much! God bless! And I look forward to more of your articles. Continue to be a blessing! :)

  19. Hi Lauren,
    Thank you for sharing this post. It’s a great reminder that God’s story for each one of us is going to be different… different from what WE think it should be and different from our friends. There have been times when I struggled with being single but when I finally decided to let go and trust God, amazing things started to happen. Now I am very content being single, and I am pursuing goals, writing a blog for young woman, and learning new things everyday. Being single can be extremely fulfilling when you decide to trust God and let this season be a time of learning and growth. Thank you again for your post and the good reminders!
    Rebekah
    http://www.moreradiance.com

  20. Stumbled across your blog and loved what I read. Especially this post and the one about blogging tips. Thank you for your honesty and for just being real about singleness. God is having me wait a lot longer than what I had planned lol but it’s nice to know there are other “normal” christian girls who have been in the same boat and God brought them to an incredible mate that was worth the wait.
    You are an inspiration. God has been speaking to me about getting a blog up (which i’m currently working on) and He brought me here to inspire me. Thank you <3
    PS. In no way am I trying to tout for blog followers lol I just wanted you to know that you are a true example.

  21. I’ve always loved your blog. Some night ago, i realized i wanted to share something with someone and that person didn’t have to be any of my sisters but my husband. i felt lonely and somewhat awkward wanting to talk to someone who isn’t present. Yes, days you believe you’re strong enough on other days you can’t help the tears. God alone gives us single women His abundant grace to go on and in His love alone do we find hope to face each day. Stay blessed dear sis!

  22. Hi! Thank you so much for this post of yours. I’ve been waiting too. I prayed to God to give me a man who will help me get much closer to Him. I’m turning 25 and I’ve never had a relationship nor dating someone. A lot of my schoolmates are now getting married, some already had kids and mine hasn’t started yet. Sometimes I get discouraged but I know God has a plan. And while I was surfing some articles online, I found your blog. God led me to your blog. Thank you so much for your encouraging words! God bless you!

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